an eulogy for my grandmother

my grandmother was buried today, next to her husband, and trailing him by almost 11 years. the following eulogy was written by some of her children and is taken from her memorial service program:

EULOGY - Late Mrs Chiu Hua Wong

Chiu Hua Wong was born in 1918 in Ming Chin district near Foochow in China. When she was eight years old, she migrated to Sarawak with her father and elder brother. The family was so poor that at the age of 9 she had to go to work as a maid for a well-off relative's family in another village which was a day's journey away. Daily she had to get up at 4 am to cook, wash, look after smaller children and also take care of pigs, chicken and ducks.

When she was 12, her mother came from China to join them. She was still working and could not go home to see her mum. After being bullied by a cousin in that family, she longed for her mother and cried for days. Then she asked permission from Auntie to go home to see her mother and promised to return to serve the family. She knew that that large family depended on her service and would not let her leave. Finally they granted her permission to visit her mother in her home village. When the motor boat moved away from the jetty, she called out telling her Auntie that she would not be back!

At 18, she accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Saviour after attending the evangelistic meetings conducted by Dr. John Sung. She reflected often that she was so filled with joy that she even dared to give a short testimony at the meeting. It was an incredible thing to do for a girl who had never been to school. She wanted badly to read the Bible so she bought a small New Testament. Every time she opened the Bible, she prayed that God would teach her to read. She surprised herself that she could make out most characters and understand what was said. She firmly believed that it was Jesus himself who taught her to read. This was God's miracle to her and she would read the Bible everyday.

At 21 in 1939, she married Ping Duang Wong, a man 10 years older and a foot taller. She knew that he was a Christian and of good character. She gave birth to 7 children, 4 boys and 3 girls. "All her children arise and call her blessed" (Proverbs 30:28) because she had led them all in the way of the Lord. She had 13 grandchildren and 13 great-grandchildren.

In 1947, she became a pastor's wife when Mr. Ping Duang Wong accepted a pastor's post in the village Sg. Tulai without any formal theological training. She was a very supportive and faithful pastor's wife. At Sunday lunch, our table was always overflowing with elderly people or relatives staying for lunch.

In 1976, she migrated to Australia and became an Australian citizen in 1986.

After being widowed, she lived in Wishart Christian Village and recently in Jeta Gardens where she was known as "the lady with the sweet smile." God had given her a gift of endearing herself to everyone she met. We give thanks to God for her life which has been a wonderful witness and encouragement for us all.

Her favourite verses are found in Proverbs 30:7-9:

Two things I ask of you, O Lord; Do not refuse me before I die; Keep falsehood and lies far from me; Give me neither poverty nor riches. But give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you And say, 'Who is the Lord?" Or I may become poor and steal, And so dishonor the name of my God.

God has indeed answered her prayer.


[edit 13.10.2008 - my cousin has posted up some old photos in memory of my grandparents]

don't wait 'til you say goodbye

the title of this post comes from another blog i happened to read today, and some words resonated with me.

[S]aying goodbye fundamentally changes our perspective. Why is it that we stop and give thanks when we are about to lose something?
....
All this reminded me of the Mike and Mechanics 80s anthem, ‘The living years’. For those who can't remember (or weren't there), it was a song about a guy looking back after his father's death, and realizing that he wished he'd said more to his dad while he was still alive. Why is it that we are so self-centred—that we only stop to give thanks when something is being taken away from us?

he was writing about saying goodbye as a result of leaving a ministry that he had been involved in for some years. but as he alluded to in the latter quote, it's the same sort of thing when someone in your life stops living.

my (paternal) grandmother passed away this morning. i can't say i knew her very well... though having lived only a stone's throw away for the first 10-odd years of my life in Australia, and not that much further away thereafter, i can't help but feel i should have made more of an effort to change that situation, despite the generational and language gaps that exist.

i tend to be one of those strong(?), silent types who doesn't typically say very much. this is a reminder that i need to work on verbalising more, especially in thanksgiving. i can start by giving thanks for the life my 'ah ma' lived, most of which i know about through stories my father tells of his younger years. i am thankful for the legacy that she and my 'ah gong' gave to their children in living their lives under the headship of Christ. E and i pray we may be able to continue such a legacy, should God bless us with such opportunity/ies.

[edit 10.10.2008 - a friend (who will soon have the opportunity) has just written something that echoes the legacy thought.]

waxing lyrical

back in my shiftwork days, we used to listen to the radio during night and weekend shifts. one of the girls on my team had an uncanny ability to sing along to just about every song that came on. she said she just listens to a lot of music, and remembers the words (and tune).

me? i usually get about as far as humming bits of the tune and maybe recalling some of the lines from the chorus parts. that's why i don't go for karaoke, cos i can never remember how to sing the whole song, even if the words are flashed up in front of me and in time with the music.

amazing thing this the human mind. great capacity to remember lots of information - other people i know are variously good at quoting quotes and reciting lines from movies, plays, and episodes of the simpsons!

the other day a quiz got circulated at work - the 90's lyrics music quiz, with the aim of identifying song name at artist from a given line from a song. my two immediate colleagues started naming answers, while i struggled to convert the feelings of familiarity to actual titles and names. i could vaguely hear some of the tunes in my head, recall the context in which i heard the song (eg. this was featured in the soundtrack of an animated movie), or half-picture what the artist looked like. i think i got about two artists and one complete boyz II men song right before i gave up. the next day one colleague came in with answers found online, and as i scanned the list there were a number of lightbulb moments as the memories of songs from yesteryear came flooding back... well, those few that i knew anyway... quite a few were UK ones which i had never heard of.

anyways, the whole thing got me thinking about how powerful songs can be. even when you don't necessarily mean or intend to commit a song to memory, if it comes wrapped in a catchy tune, into your memory it goes. and sometimes, you can't get it out of your head! often, you may not even really think about what the lyrics are saying, yet you sing along regardless. i remember a time in high school when we looked at pop songs and lyrics during english class, and i was quite surprised to find that the lines i had been repeating from a certain prince song was actually quite sexually charged - and really not the sort of thing a young teenager ought to be taking any pride in saying/singing.

it's been some years since i regularly listened to commercial pop radio -- partly because my tastes have changed as i grew older, and partly because of the power of music/song to ingrain lyrics in my head. often i have the radio on not so much to actively listen as for background music. and these hours spent (perhaps subconsciously) absorbing all those lyrics have quite probably contributed to a warped view of the world. at the very least, they're not doing anything positive for my mind. which is not to say that all pop is bad, but if you're not actively filtering and selecting the stuff that's going into your mind (ie choosing what you listen to), and just freely taking everything in... well, that's a recipe for easy corruption.

since those younger years, i've spent a lot more time listening to christian music - whether christian pop or the songs used for church/congregational singing. they often (though not always!) have much more meaningful lyrics, and especially good are those which remind us about God - his character, his deeds, his promises etc. one thing i've tried to do on occasion is to memorise the lyrics of a whole song, so that i can sing it from memory. i find this helps me to focus on the words, and to think about what i'm singing (what words are coming next?). it's too easy, when the words are in front of you on a page or a screen, to engage the autopilot of the mind and read/sing the words as they come, and not think about what those words are.

i'm not very good at memorising whole songs, and mostly i rely on the fact that i've sung the songs hundreds of times before, so there's more of an osmosis effect than active memorising. but when i can, i like to not look at the lyrics as i sing.

if you ever see me singing with eyes closed, you'll know why.

there'll be no turtles here

so steve irwin, mr crocodile hunter, dies at the "hands" of a stingray barb, and the world mourns.

i found out not through the news media (of which i consume very little), but because people on my msn messenger contact list are paying tribute to the man by inserting the icon of a turtle in front of their display names. i saw it earlier tonight and thought little of it, but having just returned to my pc and seeing more turtles on my screen, inquired as to the reason.

i've nothing against (nor for, really) the man himself, and it sounds like a freakish way to depart this mortal coil. and death is never really a joyful thing to contemplate, unless you have the hope of life beyond death, in which case not even death is an altogether bad thing, and if you take (the apostle) paul's perspective on things, it's more than "not bad", but far better.

i reflect not on the man, his life, what he represented and stood for, nor what he meant to others (human and/or animal??), but on this wave (ok, maybe wave is too hyperbolic a word) of response i observe on msn. i opine not on specific individuals who choose to conform (ok, perhaps participate is a less confronting word :p) to the trend, for i cannot judge the motives and thoughts of their hearts behind the typing of "(tu)".

yet i wonder... who thought of starting this trend in the first place, and what does it achieve really? was the turtle chosen because it's the closest default emoticon to a crocodile? it's a dark green/grey coloured reptile...

more importantly, why choose such an arbitrary gesture to denote the payment of tribute? it may be well-meaning, but well... does it really mean anything? or is it another here today, gone tomorrow type of fad, more transient than the life (and death?) to which it's meant to point. does it even point to him, if people don't understand the sign?

the cynic in me thinks there's an opening for some clever marketing and promotions people there somewhere, do with a turtle what has been done with red noses, pink and red ribbons and the like.

but i digress...

in the end, if the death of someone, whether it be your closest friends/family or a celebrity on the other side of the globe, forces you to consider the fleetingness of your own life and the lives of others, then there's potential for good things to come from that. may you find a sure hiding place in the rock of ages, and bring others to him, such that you may all sing:

While I draw this fleeting breath,
when my eyelids close in death,
when I soar through realms unknown,
bow before the judgement throne:
hide me then, my refuge be,
Rock of ages, cleft for me.

BLT images

photos from BLT, posted by

• iggz
• js
• moi (along with a few i pinched from another camera)

i gotta say that i do quite like a few of js' creations. the group photo in my previous post was organised by him, and thus looks half decent -- i was happy to delegate that one to somebody whose interest in photography extends beyond whipping out a compact auto and pressing the shutter button without too much thought on lighting, composition, and all those other things that go into the making of a good shot.

- - - - -

i think one of the most valuable things from something like BLT, is the presence of servant-minded Christians who get alongside the delegates, have meaningful conversations, encourage, spur, and pray with them.

not that i experienced or even noticed much at the time, but that's the impression that i get from talking to other people and seeing some of the pictures afterwards.

great that it happens during the camp, not so great that the greatness is perhaps accentuated because it doesn't happen (much?) every other day of the year (even every other weekend/sunday of the year) at the local church level?

lego links

FOM sent me this link via msn... top 10 strangest lego creations. it really boggles the mind that some of the creations listed are actually functional items, like the harpsicord, knitting machine (see a movie clip of it in action), difference engine and pinball machine.

i do recall playing with lego in my younger days, but it was a few worlds away from these efforts - maybe if i had more blocks, and a lot more time! hehe. well i guess God just didn't give me the gift of lego design... if i did have such a gift though, would i use it to make something that helps to bring glory to my name, or to His? without detracting from the skills of these mentioned above creators, i can't help but think that something like the brick testament (using lego to illustrated selected passages from the Bible) is a rather more fruitful application of such gifts, for it points the viewer to, and helps them to know, the Creator who made them.

although it's not quite the same context, this reminds me of a few lines from a song

Knowing you, Jesus, knowing you
There is no greater thing

what's the point?

last sunday i happened to be listening to the same sermon for the second time. the particulars of why i found myself in such a situation is a peripheral matter. suffice it to say i was not particularly enthused at the prospect of repeating what hadn't been an overly memorable experience already chalked up from the week before.

the reason for my lack of enthusiasm can be found in these other thoughts, similar to mine, which have been voiced following and stemming from the first hearing. it's a chronic issue, and a factor in my uncertainty about whether i should be contemplating a move or some other non-stagnant act to address the problem. previous solutions i have seen from others included leaving/moving, and attending a second church/service for the teaching (while staying at the original church/service for the fellowship).

anyways... part-way through the sermon, i noticed that the guy sitting next to me had pulled out his mobile phone and was playing games on it, while his friend next to him looked on. now from what i know and have seen/observed of this guy, he doesn't strike me as someone who has much interest in listening to sermons to begin with, and possibly comes to church to see his friends, or because of parental pressure/expectation (ok maybe i'm conjecturing and stereotyping too much...). so anyways, i was trying to decide whether i should do anything, like issuing a tap or nudge and motioning that he should put the phone away and pay attention to the sermon. but then the thought struck me: why? what would i be asking him to listen to? should he listen just because it's the polite/culturally normative thing to do? is there any merit in asking someone to listen to something in which i myself struggle to find value? i'm probably venturing into dangerous territory in sounding like i'm decrying the value of a sermon, but the question still begs asking (and the answer(s) well worth pursuing and grasping): what's the point?

when your opponent gets personal...

... you know it's because they've run out of legitimate ammunition.

this is an update on (one of) the pirated DVD(s) i bought off ebay a few months back (see section 3 or so of previous post). upon noticing the discrepancies with the disc i received, i made contact with the seller in an attempt to resolve the problem. the list of discrepancies grew during this time, and my final findings, after comparing my received product to information about, and images of the genuine article obtained from meiah (the actual distributors?) and amazon.com, and doing followup research, is as follows (text mostly copy-and-pasted from an email i sent the seller, links to photos added for this post):

1. The design of the front cover, while very similar to the genuine copy, is different in a number of places:
   1. The "Mei Ah" logo, which should be in the bottom left corner, is missing
   2. The font face, colour and size of the main crew are different, and contain spelling errors
      1. Cheung Yuen Ting is credited as the DTRBCTOR
      2. Alex Law is credited as the WRITTER CO-PRODOCER
   3. The "DVD video" logo in the bottom right corner does not appear on the genuine copy
   4. The Chinese writing on the bottom (below the picture of the three young girls, and half chopped off by your trimming) also does not appear in the original
2. On the back cover, the bottom quarter and the pictures look to be the same as the genuine copy, but the rest of the text is all wrong
   1. The font used to list the awards is different - this goes for both the the Chinese and English text; the Chinese text uses an inconsistent mix of traditional and simplified characters
   2. The English synopsis contains various punctuation errors and is missing two phrases from the full original text
   3. The Chinese synopsis is written in simplified Chinese, which is inconsistent with the rest of the Chinese text used on the front and back covers, which should be traditional Chinese for a product coming from Hong Kong
   4. There is supposed to be a cast and crew listing after the Chinese synopsis, but this whole section is missing
3. There are also a number of problems with the text/artwork on the DVD itself, apart from the spelling which I have already pointed out previously (ie that the text along the bottom of the disc reads "all rights in this DVD video are reserved and it is staictly prohibited to usr this DVD video other than for rivate viewing in the Double-Dsymbol are frademarks of Dolby Labaratories Licensing Corporation"
   1. At the very top of the disc, next to Maggie Cheung's head (middle woman), and a bit cut off, is Maggie's Chinese name in simplified Chinese - out of place and again inconsistent with the other traditional Chinese text used in the package
   2. Of the four little boxes near the bottom of the disc, the second box displays a logo which reads "compact disc digital video". This logo "may only be used on discs complying with the Video-CD specifications: the Philips-JVC-Matsushita-Sony Compact Disc Digital Video Specification (the WHITE Book)", therefore this logo should NOT appear on a DVD
   3. The next logo accompanying the "5.1 SURROUND" text is wrong - there is a similar logo on the box cover, which at least features 6 distinct black squares representing the 5+1 speakers. The logo on the disc itself only has 4 squares/speakers
   4. The region code logo on the disc says the disc is region 1, which is inconsistent with what the box says (should be all region)
   5. Lastly the 3 Chinese characters printed below these logo boxes... at first I thought it was supposed to say 非毒品, which means something like "not drugs/poisonous". Besides the obvious question of why such a phrase should be relevant to a DVD, I also realised that the middle character is "spelt" wrong - it looks like something that should sound the same as the proper character to fit the phrase, but isn't actually a valid character in Chinese.

so anyways, i originally asked for a full refund given that the listing of pirated items is against ebay policy. seller refused, maintaining that the item is an original (without addressing my list of evidence to the contrary), and offered a refund on the sale price (ie not including postage) once i return the item. that wasn't going to fly as a solution cos the return postage alone exceeds the sale price, and besides, i want justice on the piracy issue, not just getting my money back! and so i turned to the paypal resolution process for assistance. they eventually decided in my favour, awarding me a full refund of the original sale price plus shipping costs - but again i was required to send the item back at my own expense. so now i get to recoup a few of my dollars (not much, after having to supply proof of postage), and i'm still waiting for the actual refund to hit my account. meanwhile nobody at ebay/paypal seems bothered by the piracy thing that i'm actually complaining about - i guess maybe it's not really their fight and even so how much does my one droplet of a pirated dvd rate in the global tidal wave of the piracy business, right? anyways, i haven't mentioned the icing on the cake yet: the seller leaving me negative feedback (my first ever!) that says "TROUBLEMAKER! Original sent fast & still wants refund w/o returning! BAD BUYER!"

me? i'd really rather stick to facts. you know, things like the proof of postage that shows i have returned the item, which paypal required from me, before they processed the claim and decided the case in my favour... (by which time the item would have well and truly arrived back at the seller's address, where they could well turn around and sell to the next unsuspecting victim - a major reason why i wasn't keen to return it in the first place)

so i'm just a little bit unimpressed. it seems too easy to break the rules and play dirty in this world of ours [going off on a bit of a tangent, this has been a common and recurring theme i'm encountering with people who find out (some too late) that their employers have not been paying their superannuation entitlements - if you aren't sure whether yours is being paid, do something proactive about it sooner rather than later; read the superannuation FAQ from the ato if you need a starting point]. but i really shouldn't be surprised at that... so i guess meanwhile i'll just keep waiting for "new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells" (2 peter 3:13)

at a loss for words

i've been diagnosed with a case of laryngitis, a major symptom of which is the loss of my voice. not that i'm a naturally talkative person, but for the last nearly 1 year i've had to talk all day for a living, and it's a bit of a change to go from that to not saying anything at all. a common response that i've been getting when people find out is "ahhh... no wonder you've been so quiet". aren't i normally quiet? hmm...

anyways, the fact that i might have something valid to say or contribute, but was physically restricted from doing so, has brought back to mind another issue about having something to say yet not actually saying it.

let me backtrack a little: over the course of a few months last year, i found out that a number of my female friends were progressing in their relationships with their respective partners - i use partner in a loose and generic sense, for the various "progresses" cover the spectrum from starting to date, through getting engaged, to getting married. in all the cases the girls (afaik) were professing christians, and their partners were, at the time and imho, unsuitable husband material (me being of the opinion/belief that starting/continuing a relationship with someone who you w/shouldn't marry is a waste of time for all parties involved). the reasons for unsuitability ranged from being clearly non-christian through to nominal christianity - whichever way you look at it, not exactly your ideal candidates to fulfil the mandate of "[h]usbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Eph 5:25; see also the shtes' summary/thoughts from a wedding sermon on this and surrounding verses). i was closer to some of these girls than others, and the guys involved i mostly didn't know from a bar of soap. and so, the question with which i wrestled was this: should i say anything?

in an article titled evasive manuevers, author matt kaufman writes on the issue of "our reluctance to see and confront sin in our loved one's lives." he notes that:

We're often loath to confront any number of sins in their lives.

The chief reason is that we're afraid to damage our relationships. Imagine your sister is living with her boyfriend ... You're not happy about it; you may even be heartbroken about it. But you don't want tension with her, and you really don't want to take such a strong stand that you strain the relationship to the breaking point.

In a situation like this, you know the stand you should take. But, again, it's hard -- and you're scared of what could happen if you push it too far. So you don't say much. Or you say something, but you water it down. (You don't tell her she's doing something wrong; you ask questions that won't threaten her autonomy, like "Are you sure you want this?") Or you say nothing at all.

We're also reluctant to take a strong stand for another reason: We want to think the best of the people we love.

he goes on to agree with the common sentiment that for most people, the costs of taking a stand are too high. yet he reminds us that "no cost is higher than a soul", and progresses to relate an example from his life where he eventually confronts his friend "Becky", a single mum who had moved in with another man and subsequently married him. in response to a letter from Becky asking why a distance had grown between them, matt responds by explaining... and as a result

Becky never spoke to me again. I've always regretted that. But I've never regretted what I did. I can't be responsible for whether she took the message to heart. I can only be responsible for trying.

I only regret the times I should have tried with other people, but didn't. Sometimes I've had reason to hesitate: In deciding how to proceed, I had to think about things like how well I knew someone, what's the right time and way to talk to them, and whether they profess to be a Christian (which makes a big difference in the kind of conversation we'd have). But in stopping to think about these things, I've sometimes awakened months or years later to realize that, instead of finding the right way to say something, I've said nothing at all. Other times, if truth be told, I've just let my own fears lead me to procrastinate.

But this I know: If you love someone, you must seek the welfare of their soul above any risks to your relationship with them.

And you can't reach that goal by evasive maneuvers. You can only get there by going straight to the heart.

in reading and reflecting on this article, i realised how evasive i usually am. i dread confronting others about their sins/wrongdoings, even when i may feel some sense of righteous indignation. just like matt, i find all sorts of excuses about me not being the right person, the timing not being right, my knowledge of the situation not being sufficiently informed... the list goes on. and for the most part i end up saying nothing. i advocate the matthew 18:15ff style/method of conflict resolution, yet fail miserably most of the time in actually carrying out the first step. and when i do manage to open my mouth, what comes out is often a truncated, watered down, stammering, roundabout and usually lacking in love version of the truth.

not to deflect blame/attention, but it seems that many others suffer from this problem. in speaking to some other people with association with the couples i mentioned earlier, i find the reluctance to risk relationships exists in family members and friends alike - no one appers to be willing to call anyone to repentence, lest the confronting nature of the challenge push the other away and sever/damage the relationship. (granted, there may well have been other people doing things in the background / of which i am not aware - i am only commenting on what i myself have seen/heard. i also fully realise that i do not have any grounds for accusing any of these people for being "soft", for i wear not their shoes... again i am basing my comments on what i have seen/heard for myself.)

it's a situation that i heard a local christian worker once label as the 'cult of relationships'. in a recent sermon from philippians, he also made the following points about our inability/failure to "speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly" (phi 1:14b) - the transcription is mine and probably not be 100% word-for-word accurate:

many are the ways we consider to be an appropriate speaking of the word of God ... everything but speaking fearlessly ...

I'm not an advocate of running rough-shod over other human beings, I'm just saying that it is a joke the idea that the weakness of our modern churches is that we are too bold and fearless in our speaking -- that is exactly the problem we don't have. Our problem is the opposite.

[For example, let's look at the popular idea of] building bridges [one problem with which is the building of bridges] that are never burnt - ie I'm not prepared to lose the relationship in order to honour or exalt the lord Jesus Christ. A classic example is of the Christian girl going out with non-Christian guy... [who reasons that] I don't want to drop him, I don't want to end the relationship because if I speak to him too harshly about Jesus then I'll lose the relationship, he'll be lost and he won't be won into the kingdom. The paradox here is that the way to win him into the kingdom is to risk burning the bridge.

It's the ones who say: look, I am bound for heaven, I live for the lord Jesus Christ, I cannot share my bed with someone with whom I cannot share my eternal destiny. It's when the girl says that, and she cuts off emotional supply, it's then that that bloke hears the loudest evangelistic sermon he is ever likely to hear. It's then that it dawns on him: that the silly Christian sisters who continue pirouetting around, saying: I'm serious about the lord Jesus, but my personal demeanour screams out that I'm not... they're just giving double messages. If you believe that you are bound for two different eternities, show it!

how's that for a counter-argument to the practice of missionary dating (if that excuse even features in such a Christian sister's thinking/rationale)?

anyways, we (Christians) all have responsibilities to live out the gospel in ways that doesn't turn a blind eye to matters of unrighteousness, whether in our own lives or in the lives of those we claim to love and care about. i myself have lots to learn and apply... of the friends i mentioned above, i have made only one serious attempt to go "straight to the heart" with one of them (and that, i think, didn't go down too well) - all the others have been at best very weak attempts to indirectly broach the subject, or too much deliberating resulting in nothing actually being done (though if the couple is already married, it changes what you c/should say).

i say this last bit not as a cop-out excuse for inaction, but i am glad and relieved that God is ultimately in control and doesn't need for me to do anything (though he may very well have desired for me to do something) - for two of the girls, their non-Christian partners are now professing Christians. and anytime anyone crosses from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light, that's cause for rejoicing :)

SDG.

speaking of kintaro's feet...

following on from my previous post, here's another Q&A:

Q: how does a guy let a girl know that he is interested?
A: walk the length of her country!

that's what tyler macniven aka kintaro did, even making a movie titled 'kintaro walks japan'. ok granted the girl already knew he liked her, but still... it's a pretty cool thing to do and an interesting movie to watch :) you can either pay to buy a dvd, or watch it for free on google video.

on a less facetious note, and somewhat in response to the comment left by 'anonymous' on my previous post, when it comes to letting the girl know of your interest, there's a time for keeping quiet and a time for being direct. the tricky bit can sometimes be in knowing what/which time it is. eg. it may not generally be the most appropriate thing to say to a girl you first meet/hardly know that your intentions are to take her as your wife -- such a scenario would usually be the time to keep quiet (for the time being). conversely, with the fellow she mentioned who dragged three years without resolving the big question mark, the time for being direct sounds like it had long passed.

sometimes though, wisdom dictates that a dose of patience (and waiting on the Lord) is needed. it can be quite frustrating to not be able to freely say what you'd like to say. thus it may not be shyness or fear of rejection that holds someone back from opening their mouth in such a matter, rather the relative silence on the topic may be the result of the testing of one's obedience and trust. well, i'd hope so anyway!

跑 (去看 'children of heaven') 吧孩子

without having much of an insight into the movie-making business/industry, it usually puzzles me as to why people like to remake movies. is it because original ideas are hard to come by, and so let's just take something that's worked somewhere else, and apply it in a slightly different context? or is there more of a 'paying compliment/homage' spirit at work? is the decision driven by economics and business concerns, or perhaps owes more to the personal whims of the filmmaker?

in any case, i watched homerun (aka 跑吧孩子) tonight. i originally intended to watch a different movie, but couldn't locate the actual disc (and it so bugs me when i know i've misplaced something... but i digress). homerun had been in the house for probably a good year or so, but i had never gotten around to watching it. upon reading the back cover, i was struck by how closely the storyline resembled another movie i had seen in the past... doesn't this sound exactly like children of heaven, i asked myself. upon seeing the opening credits, i realised it is basically is the same story, except homerun had been reworked for a singaporean setting.

maybe because my movie diet does include some foreign (and by that i mean non-western-english-speaking-country) films, and my general preference to see something in its original context (eg i'd rather watch a hk flick in cantonese and read subtitles, than listen to a mandarin audio track or worse still dubbed english, even though i would understand several magnitudes of order more of the mandarin dialogue than the cantonese), mixed in with having seen a few more singaporean movies/shows than i have of anything from iran (it could be the bias speaking, but the acting and dialogue in homerun seemed a bit too stereotypical at times, while the whole of c.o.h. seemed so much more "authentic" [which is a rather ironic thing to say/claim given that i know next to nothing about things iran!])... in the end i still definitely prefer children of heaven over homerun. very simple story, yet manages to be moving and touchingly believable. check it out sometime, and i think people would be better served seeing that than only having watched homerun as a not-quite-worthy substitute, though i wonder whether my conclusion would be any different if i had seen homerun beore children of heaven...

humming a Christmas tune

two weeks to Christmas, and i'm starting to hum Christmas songs in my head...

i think that you tend to look forward to Christmas more as a child than as an adult. part of the reason could be that as a child you get lots of time for the anticipation and expectations to build, because you get to be on holidays at least a few weeks out from Christmas. once you start working though, it's usually a case of working all the way up to Christmas eve, and then bam, Christmas arrives seemingly all of a sudden. or it could just be that the wonder and novelty of the day wears off with age..

today i'm humming the tune to "winter wonderland"... triggered by reading the phrase in a holiday update email from a friend who's currently in singapore and en route to europe for a real wintry white Christmas... and i cast my mind back to the white (pre-)Christmas i got to see 3 years ago on my nanae trip in japan. later in the day i see photos of some Christmas lights on singapore's orchard road taken by island... and i cast my mind back to the Christmas eve i spent in that district 5 years ago. i won't be seeing any snow this Christmas, and any wonderlands i encounter will definitely not be anywhere near wintry, but i hope to catch some of the orchard road lights, and have already made plans with princejay to tour some of the local lights next week :) (here's some samples of what we might see)

yes, Christmas is coming... and in the midst of news stories of people calling for a ban on the word "Christmas" (because they think it's too pro-Christian/ity??!), and others (actual people i know) preferring to allocate their donation to the RSPCA (to help animals) than to give to the salvation army or the smith family (to help their fellow human beings), i need to remind myself even more that Jesus (the Christ) is the reason for the season - he came to earth to give his life to save people, and even those who will want to take him out of the day will have to one day bow their knee and acknowledge him as king...

"Turn to me and be saved, all the ends of the earth! For I am God, and there is no other. By myself I have sworn; from my mouth has gone out in righteousness a word that shall not return: 'To me every knee shall bow, every tongue shall swear allegiance.' "Only in the LORD, it shall be said of me, are righteousness and strength; to him shall come and be ashamed all who were incensed against him. (Isaiah 45:22-24, ESV)

And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Philippians 2:8-11, ESV)

and the song to be singing then will be

"Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation, and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth." (Revelation 5:9-10, ESV)

defective detection

commenting on a newspaper article whose headline reads "Down Syndrome Now Detectable in First Trimester", regarding a new test which could "pinpoint" many of the fetuses with the "common genetic disorder" that causes Down Syndrome as soon as 11 weeks after conception, a boundless columnist writes:

Let's get real: a test that enables doctors to identify birth defects in utero will really only be used for only one purpose: eliminate those with the defects. More than 90 percent of children whose Down Syndrome is detected in utero are aborted. (There's no reason to think that this testing will be limited to Down Syndrome, by the way. Eventually, the cost- effectiveness of eliminating genetically-based illness in utero will prove irresistible. As Nancy Press of the Oregon Health and Science University put it in the New York Times, "If you can terminate pregnancies with a condition, who is going to put research dollars into it?")

In addition, there is subtle but real pressure on "at-risk" women to undergo pre-natal testing. [...]

And what exactly is the "risk" here? Why are we having all those abortions? One thing is certain: it's not to ease the suffering of the "defective" children. They don't suffer, at least not from having Down Syndrome. They're often aware that they're different but any pain they may feel in this respect is caused by other people's reactions to the differences. From my own experience with my autistic son, I can tell you that David's autism troubles me a great deal more than it does him.

The inescapable conclusion is that the suffering we're seeking to avoid is that of the adults. How else do you explain the phenomenon of doctors being sued for the "wrongful birth" of a child with disabilities? Children with Down Syndrome or other disabilities represent an unacceptable impingement on their potential parents' freedom: they have to work harder at being good parents and they don't even get to show off with a "My Child is an Honor Roll Student At ..." bumper sticker.

If that sounds harsh, well, it is. It's also true.

i'm struck by the suggestion that the decisions made on this issue tend to be driven by what is essentially the selfishness of the parents(-to-be). i don't know that this is necessarily true in general (and i'm sure there are those who think beyond themselves), but i just wonder how widespread and accurate an assessment it really is. the answer is perhaps somewhat scary to contemplate.

queensland whimpers

perhaps somewhat against my better judgment, i went to watch a football (soccer) game tonight, and it did nothing to change my opinion of the sport. i understand that there are people who get rather fanatical about it all, but i just can't see the attraction.

anyways, the match was between the queensland roar and the newcastle jets. the roar lost. the game was mostly pretty boring, and opportunities to get excited were few and far between, with too few queenland shots at goal going anywhere threatening. there wasn't even much atmosphere in the crowd of 13000 (the keener fans in the group say that crowd numbers have been dropping because the team isn't winning). oh well... i decided to go along cos it was supposed to be a group outing, and i figured i'd try watching a soccer game at least once... plus i don't think i'd been to suncorp stadium before so that in itself was a new experience, though not one i'm in much of a hurry to repeat unless there's something more interesting to view. i can think of a lot more satisfying ways to spend my money and my time.

and i won't really miss the likes of those who think that being at a football match gives them a "right" to holler obscenities and abuse at players and officials, nevermind the comfort/sensibilities of any other patrons within earshot. at least some other fans try to be a bit more creative with their vocal outbursts... even then, it's not necessarily something to be proud of - quite a few of us in the group are christians, and one remarked to me that she didn't think it would be a good thing if others in the crowd knew we were christians, going by what can be seen (and judged?) in the external behaviour. i couldn't refute that sentiment.

when daydreams turn sour

i don't know if i have an overactive imagination, but on my good days i certainly think i could mount a pretty strong case for such an argument. by good i mean the days when said imagination is being particularly active. it has a tendency to distract me from what i need/ought to be doing, and sometimes in keeping me awake, even creeping into my real dreams (ie the ones you have when you are asleep) on the odd occasion.

the subject matters vary, but the topic of romance is a definite 常客. not that daydreaming, or romance, in and of themselves are bad/unhelpful things, but i am aware of my soft spot for the odd rom(-com) movie... and knowing that the problem of romance is something that girls (generally speaking) find greater struggels with, to the point of it venturing into "female porn" territory... i can't help but wonder whether someone affected by both physical and emotional stimuli is a particularly rare and wretched creature, doubly cursed...

the strength of this course is in the reading

so reiterated our facilitator at the conclusion of the first session of CWMC (condensed world missions course) currently being run at church. heard about the course two sundays ago, and was mildly interested but non-committal. then last week an old school mate of mine suddenly told me he had quit his job overseas and was moving back to aus, and will have some time up his sleeve being unemployed. his situation bore some similarities to mine a few years ago when i quit my job, went on a short term missions trip, and was unemployed after that for some time (much longer than i initially intended!). anyways, he asked me for some input as to what he could do with his time... his pastor also suggested for him to take advantage of the opportunity to go on a STM, something i encourage wholeheartedly - esp. since getting decent blocks of time off is so much harder to arrange once you are in the workforce.

the course is being run primarily for those in my church who are taking part in a YWAM Christmas Outreach program in dec this year, as part of their preparations. but it's open for other ppl to attend as well, and through that encounter with my friend i was reminded that i need to not let missions take such a "back seat" in my life/mind. hence the decision to commit to attending the course. after all, with a promise that it will change my life (or my money back), who could resist? ;)

so anyways, i've just added even more reading to do, on top of my already overflowing backlog...

at least it's for good/noble purposes huh? have stopped watching grey's anatomy and alias, which frees up 3hrs of my week. this will give me more time to read (though my efficiency in using this time remains to be seen...), and will also help fight against the "poison of pre-packaged entertainment", as spoken about in this article (which is actually about the place of children's literature in education, but read the quote and i think you'll see the principle):

Prepackaged entertainment poisons the wells of learning; it dulls our faculty for receiving and appreciating art and literature. Each of us knows the lyrics to a thousand pop songs; but how many poems do we know by heart? The radio has made us deaf to the music of poetry. To spend one's free time reveling in popular music, watching television, and going to the movies, and then to attempt to read Shakespeare for a class assignment — this is an exercise in futility. It is akin to drinking Coke all day, while intermittently attempting to develop a taste for fine wine. Like the palate, the mind must be cleansed if we are to develop good taste.

which got me thinking... how relevant is this idea to the reading of the Bible and other good Christian literature? (these being the "poetry", the "Shakespeare", the "fine wine"etc of a Christian's life)

pit stop: brisbane

back from sydney (entry on that still WIP), about to head off for the malayan peninsular in a few days. quoting myself in an email to fom about upcoming trip:

i think i've been so starved of spending chunks of time just being with friends that i'm actually sorta looking foward to the high dosage of people time (+ enjoyed the bits from sydney)... kinda funny - almost seems like ppl here are too busy that the only way i get to hang out with friends is to visit them as an interstate/overseas guest (guess that makes me more "special" and a higher priority person to spend time with/on -- or maybe i'm just being cynical :p)

granted, i too would readily regard a "from out of town" visitor as higher priority, given that opportunities to spend time with them are theoretically significantly fewer than someone more "local". i guess i'm just lamenting the busyness of lives which results in the observable chasm between the treatment of the local and the sojourning friend.

where is the (local) community?

in greek: koinonia
the fellowship that i seek
should i instead be?

[ this haiku came to me while doing a 40 dop related bible study earlier this year, and i thought i wrote it down somewhere but i can't remember where... and i can't remember if the last line is the same as the original... how many variations of thoughts could i have expressed in 5 syllables? hmm... ]

of weddings and things

i've just returned from my cousin's wedding, and am finally getting around to posting up some pictures and thoughts from my sister's wedding last weekend. here's a family photo to the right...

and on the left is the cake my other sister made for her... pretty nifty eh?

my day itself didn't start that well... after a rather late night (due to a late airport run, made later by a delay in the flight), i actually couldn't get out of bed the next morning! by the time i was finally woken up, i had 15 minutes to be at the church to help set up for refreshments. so i rushed out of the house, grabbing all my gear adn change of clothes etc, went to pick up my aunt and arrived at the church a bit late. later (when i went to get changed) i realised i hadn't shaved, and didn't bring a shaver... anyways that's a fairly minor blemish - the ceremony + reception etc was all good and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.

i've had a lingering though that started long before this wedding, and which was again brought into the spotlight during the sermon. here i'll steal from i mean quote shteejei:

One thing stood out quite clearly for me during the day, and that was something mentioned by the guest speaker giving his words of counsel to the couple. He said that the husband’s role, for the rest of his life, was to lead his wife into Christ-likeness (or something to that effect).

At this point a few thoughts came to mind:

• How can a non-Christian husband lead a Christian wife to Christ-likeness?
  
• On the other hand, how can a non-Christian wife be lead into Christ-likeness?
  
• If a husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church, by laying down his life in order to present his church holy and blameless, then how can that happen if the husband does not love Christ (and hence, can not love as he loved?)

What were the thoughts of those in the audience listening to these words who are currently dating or engaged to non-Christians?

the ending question there echoes precisely my own musings
[rest of post under revision]

games be gone

wedding #9 for the year took place earlier today. 4 to go in the next 2 months...

in his speech, one of the groomsman referred to something the groom said during the buck's night. can't recall the precise words, but it had to do with how the groom-to-be, an avid (LAN) gamer, had said that he is willing to give that up for his wife-to-be, so as to dedicate time to the building up of their marriage. a big change; a big sacrifice - but one that is entirely worthwhile. coincidentally i was just reading an article about unplugging from the matrix of the gaming world, so as to

1. find one's true identity in Christ (rather than in the world of the games)
2. to practice better stewardship of our time, and
3. to live in the real world where one's actions have lasting impact.
   

good food for thought... maybe too easy for me to simply nod my head in agreement, given that i've never been into gaming (unless you count minesweeper, solitaire, and those little flash games you find on the net?!) though i can easily see other places where i just as easily spend hours "hiding away".

to my friends J and M: may you not hide from, but actively seek out each other in your marriage, and may you continue growing in Christlikeness all the days of your life.

a matter of perspective

came across these via a forward mass mail thing about the pavement artwork of a UK dude by the name of julian beever - "anamorphic illusions drawn in a special distortion in order to create an impression of 3 dimensions when seen from one particular viewpoint"

here's a shot of what one of his pieces look like from the "wrong" angle:


and now looking at it from the intended perspective:

more pictures at http://users.skynet.be/J.Beever/pave.htm

pretty nifty, eh? makes you wonder whether sometimes you just can't seem to understand certain things, it's because you're standing on the wrong side of the picture...