Tuesday, May 04, 2004


there's a lump in my throat as i consider my response when my supervisor asks me if i'm alright. do i wear my heart on my sleeve? is it that obvious? i can shrug it off, put on a smile and say yeah i'm fine. but i'm not. why does thinking about it make me want to cry again? twice in one day? surely this has never happened before??

i'm really not a person who cries easily. not that i never shed tears, but sometimes i think i am lacking something emotionally - i have at times wanted to cry or felt like crying, yet found no tears forthcoming.

so, does the fact that i *did* cry about/over something, imply that the something is rather significant? there's probably irony too, in that it happened in front of a relative stranger... (relative because you could say we've only known each other for about a week, yet in other ways our friendship feels deeper than others that are years older.)

i don't know. i think that's all i can say with any certainty.
i don't know. too many questions remain. questions which may never be answered.
i don't know. maybe they don't need to be answered.

i don't know.

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