Friday, February 25, 2005

crumbs... foiled again!

the day passed in a relatively pain-free manner... broken up in the middle by a ~1.75hr lunch at the garden grill restaurant of the glen hotel - the pork fillet with sweet potato and cranberry juice/sauce went down quite nicely :) but, as murphy's law would have it, a flurry of work came to me soon after coming back from lunch... nevertheless i'm now finally finished my "tour of duty" at work, and can look forward to new battlefields ahead. it may mean waking up earlier / being more disciplined with my sleeping habits (which i should do anyway), and it will mean business shirts and ironing (the everyday wearing of which i am not a fan).

- - - - -

sometimes i think of myself as a sniper - not that i *really* know anything about the art and skill involved in being one, and not that i have any desire to kill anyone with a high-powered rifle or similar weapon... this is purely an analogy vehicle, ok? right... disclaimer over :p

i think of myself as a sniper in the sense that sometimes a sniper waits... and waits... and waits... for that perfect shot. or at least a shot that's good enough for them to take, and be confident of making "one shot, one kill". sometimes it might be trying to line up a target, but you can't get a good look so it's a negatory to 'do you have a shot?' other times a target might be lined up in the crosshairs, and you're tracking and tracking, on the verge of pulling the trigger... then last minute someone steps in to block your shot. that's what/how i feel about an incident earlier tonight.

at the risk of stretching the analogy too thin, i've been trying to manoeuvre myself into position for a good shot all week, and kept finding my potentials whittled away due to one factor or another contributing to unsuitability. but then i found a good spot, and tracked my target for a few days, awaiting the actual shot window tonight. and it looked like it could be a good, clean shot. so of course over the last 24 hours or so i've been psyching myself up to pull the trigger, and tonight i was poised and about ready as i'll ever be.

then an unexpected hindrance surfaced, and i lost my shot! that shot could have made this day much more momentous and defining. alas... Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. (Proverbs 19:21)

Thursday, February 24, 2005

there's nothing like...

... a pending move/departure to force you to clean/tidy up :p

i can see a lot more actual desk now!

less than 2 days to go... *tick* *tock*

will be going straight into new job, so no cake-eating break as i had originally hoped. oh well...

only thing is, i think i'm starting to come down with a cold... :S a parting gift from work, perhaps?? :o

Monday, February 21, 2005

the romantic in me

Love at First Sight
a poem by Wislawa Szymborska (originally in Polish)
-translated by Walter Whipple

Both are convinced
that a sudden surge of emotion bound them together.
Beautiful is such a certainty,
but uncertainty is more beautiful.

Because they didn't know each other earlier, they suppose that
nothing was happening between them.
What of the streets, stairways and corridors
where they could have passed each other long ago?

I'd like to ask them
whether they remember-- perhaps in a revolving door
ever being face to face?
an "excuse me" in a crowd
or a voice "wrong number" in the receiver.
But I know their answer:
no, they don't remember.

They'd be greatly astonished
to learn that for a long time
chance had been playing with them.

Not yet wholly ready
to transform into fate for them
it approached them, then backed off,
stood in their way
and, suppressing a giggle,
jumped to the side.

There were signs, signals:
but what of it if they were illegible.
Perhaps three years ago,
or last Tuesday
did a certain leaflet fly
from shoulder to shoulder?
There was something lost and picked up.
Who knows but what it was a ball
in the bushes of childhood.

There were doorknobs and bells
on which earlier
touch piled on touch.
Bags beside each other in the luggage room.
Perhaps they had the same dream on a certain night,
suddenly erased after waking.

Every beginning
is but a continuation,
and the book of events
is never more than half open.

- - - - -

i think this is the version that appears in the movie turn left, turn right which i saw recently. without knowing much about the movie to begin with, i must say that it first appealed, then took a firm grip on the romantic in me. and despite some cliches, corniness, and suspension of reality along the way (which is not to say that the movie was without its share of nice touches - the opening umbrella scene is a beautiful image, as is a similar picture at the end), didn't let go for the whole movie... (i wonder if it hasn't got a hook or two left in me still!)

what can i say? but to sigh wistfully and gaze off into the distance?

part of the vcd cover promo says that "你盼望著的那個人, 原來一直活在你的左右". although it's not quite the same scenario as the movie (ok ok it's really nowhere near the same scenario - the only real similarities are that there is a guy, there is a girl, and there is a hint or maybe a hope of two parallel lines touching...), i think 这个真理我好像已经了解了,现在只等机会和她见个面,聊了天,提出我们两人之间的未来...

if only it were that easy!

- - - - -
there are a lot of connotations and perhaps implied understandings when words and phrases like "fate", "destiny", and "love at first sight" are bandied about. let me just say that i don't necessarily subscribe to the contemporary/popular understandings of these words in full, though i haven't (yet) completely discarded them from my vocabulary. clarifications available upon application ;)

Saturday, February 19, 2005

convicted... and pardoned :)

the story of YF brothers day 2005...

thank you YF sisters :)

- - - - -

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. (Romans 8:1-2, ESV)

- - - - -

"We must rest ourselves upon his power; we must be confident of this, that Christ can make us clean. No guilt is so great but that there is a sufficiency in his righteousness to atone for it; no corruption so strong, but there is a sufficiency in his grace to subdue it." (quote from I don't know where... but came across it just now and thought it was a good fit!)

Monday, February 14, 2005

it's with a note of resignation that i say...

see you later alligator!

i'm officially out of here... or will be after another 10 (working) days.

they say a change is as good as a holiday, but i'm hoping to have my cake and eat it too :) greedy aren't i? haha.

well, see how lor...

Friday, February 11, 2005

what is it with these tv programming people?

after going for a stretch earlier this year where i didn't watch tv for days on end, ratings season is back. and with it, some of my old favourites... along with a few new contenders!

so i went out last night to catch up with a friend who i haven't caught up with for months and months, and there's 4 hours of tv on at night that i want to see, 3 of which run one after the other, and the fourth is smack bang in the middle on a different channel. fortunately the middle hour show is repeated a few days later, so figure i can tape it then, and do a bit of juggling of stations and start/end times with the vcr programming (since the shows never seem to start or end on time!) with the other 3 hours. too easy.

imagine my extreme displeasure when i discover today that one of the shows (er - which i've been following for years) had an unadvertised double episode! which of course means my vcr wasn't set to record the second hour... grrr...

- - - - -

anyways, while watching the latest episode of the amazing race, i kinda felt for the sisters who toiled some 8 hours on the final task without luck, a hurdle which led to their elimination from the race. they seemed like nice people (which is more than i can say for many of the other contestants). i guess that sometimes things just don't work out the way you want them to. i can identify with the waiting... and frustration... as others come by and seem to get their bit done with a minimum of fuss or bother, while you toil without success and watch on in dismay.

yesterday i was waiting. today, half the wait is over. i feel a lot of relief and pump-your-fist-in-the-air YEAH!!!ness. but let's not get too carried away just yet :)

still... it's not too early to say 'thank you God', for he is good. all the time :D

Thursday, February 10, 2005

the elegant dress of error

"Error never shows itself in its naked reality, in order not to be discovered. On the contrary, it dresses elegantly, so that the unwary may be led to believe that it is more truthful than truth itself." (Irenaeus of Lyons—2nd Century A.D.)

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

chinese new year songs ringing in my head

well actually just one song, cos it's the only one i seem to be able to recall!

i ate too much, but am much contented... at least temporarily ;)

anyways, happy chinese new year, if you are one to 'celebrate' the event :)

- - - - -

this year of the rooster, i'm going for it.

tbc (maybe).

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

approaching the jordan

40 nights ago, i started wearing a piece of wire around my wrist. over these past few weeks there have been those who enquired about my new and unusual bit of "fashion". to most i gave a vague or diversionary reply... those who probed further may have been told that it does have some significance/meaning, and is symbolic of something.

40 nights ago, i made a vow. actually it was three vows - one primary, two secondary. the secondaries didn't last... (though they have since been addressed by something even better). the primary stood, and stands still.

40 nights ago, i decided (or should that read "the HS convicted me" :p) that something(s) needed to change... needed to stop. doing so would be good for me, good for (my relationship with) God, and good for a third person. whether any further good is to follow, i know not. but i know these past 40 days/nights have been intrinsically worthwhile.

40 nights ago, i sighted a river to cross.

this night i have reached its banks. only with God's help can i cross to the other side... IF indeed the land there is my canaan.

the river is wide, and the water still flowing.