i haven't the words to express what/how i feel... today, this past week and a half, or perhaps even this past 9 months or so. i just know that the tears don't seem to want to stop flowing.
tonight, i said goodbye to my friend for the third, and quite possibly the last time in the space of 5 months. if we ever see each other again, the circumstances will be different than our past times together.
she says that this photo of us looks a bit suss... all i was doing was trying to block the camera lens cos i didn't want to have my photo taken, but it ended up looking like we're trying to hide something :p actually my eyes weren't even open so i didn't realise the outcome till later - all i was going by was the timing of the flashes, and sticking my hand up between the red eye reduction pre-flash and the actual flash for the exposure. or i suppose you could just call it art ;)
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it seems that pretty much all the close and/or good friends i have, have in some way, shape or form "moved" away from me these past few years. this one has by far been the most emotional, perhaps at least partly because it is/seems so final.
i think i can count one remaining friend in the good/close category. most likely our friendship will change in the next few months also. i hope for the best, and so very much fear for the worst.
but life will, and needs to, go on. the morning will usher in a new day. i shall sleep long, awake, and get some therapeutic value out of a nice shower.
here's to tomorrow...