Jeremiah 17:9

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can understand it?"

work weary

i have a stomach ache. my dad always tells me it's not actually my stomach, it's my intestines that are usually the ones being upset. either way, i don't want to be here at the moment.

last night i found out one of my sisters wants to quit her job.

the other one is going to hand in her resignation today.

i'm ready to go... soon as i find something to go to!

- - - - -

went and painted the town (well... maybe not quite!) tuesday night - nice evening of dining and conversation with friends.

watoto!

watoto means "the children", and that's who i went to see tonight - the watoto children's choir, ambassadors of the watoto childcare ministries based in kampala, uganda. "Watoto Childcare Ministry provides for the spiritual, physical, emotional and educational needs of parentless children throughout Uganda, East Africa." looks to be a thoroughly excellent ministry.

the choir is currently winding up its tour in brisbane, and performed at the garden city christian church, where i went to see them. the kids are quite adorable, and their singing and dancing dynamic. couldn't take many pictures (too far away for a decent shot) so made do with video clips. really wish my camera could shoot longer than 30 seconds at a time... oh well.

- - - - -

thanks to the crimson room, i found myself mentioned/referenced/paid out at the ferris wheel project, which was a bit of a ha ha moment!

heatwave

it's been a while since i've felt the perspiration literally running down my body... all just from being in this heat (ie not from physical exertion, being out in the sun, sitting in a sauna, etc). it got pretty close to 41 degrees today. just the sort of weather to spend hunched over a computer case, swapping out motherboards :) nice little bonus from work that i saved from the bin a few weeks ago. it's got a faster cpu than my previous motherboard in my old pc, which died mid jan. so now i can resurrect my spare system and think about putting it to good use.

oh to have air conditioninng! ah i shouldn't complain... i do get to spend most of the weekdays in relative comfort.

- - - - -

fished a small packet out of my bag just now, and discovered an unopened christmas gift! no idea who it was from / how i came to be in possession of it... i must be getting forgetful in my old age!

well, time for a nice cold shower... if only i could stop sweating as soon as the water stops running!

friday flash fun

play the penguin games at http://yeti.e-medien.com/playonline.html, and then go view artwork inspired by the first game - some of these are worth a few chuckles :)

when you're ready for something a bit more challenging, escape the crimson room.

be warned: potentially addictive, and time consuming... play at your own discretion :p

shattered dreams

well, maybe that's a bit too melodramatic a title :p

it was always going to be too good to be true. first came the monitors, and there's a fair few of them. are they all working? i ask. yes, came the reply. goodie, maybe i can get a bigger monitor... or so i think to myself. alas, they are all the same size as what i'm currently using. oh well.

next came the pc bits. there was no chance any of the prized systems were going anywhere. even the older units were having bits such as hard drives taken out before they appeared on the "heap". so i managed to salvage some 72-pin ram (i've got myself a tidy collection of these now, but have no idea what i'm going to do with them yet!) and a pci network card. at least i don't feel totally empty-handed!

speaking of things to (not) put one's hope in, and wanting something for nothing... read this interesting article [chasing fantasies] today - worth a read and ponder, i say.

we speak in hushed tones and whispers

major moves happening at work - everyone is now located on the one level. hasn't affected my area much, except giving up space for storage of excess furniture from upstairs (only temporary, so they say).

the internal IT support folk have moved to a room on the other side of the wall, and there's a little annexe which joins our two areas. the doors (controlled from their side) to this annexe are currently open, and reveals a shelf full of computers that are apparently going to be discarded. in the time i've been here, there have been two prior sales/give-aways, whereby the items are placed in a heap, and staff are invited to take (or buy) their pick before the remainder gets scrapped. i've missed out in the past, not knowing where to go / get there in time.

this time will be different.

this time, the inside word on the heap is that it's about 5m from where i sit! on my side of the door to the annexe...

some lowered voice discussions have been had with my supervisor and another colleague, trying to identify the prized bargain units. so far, there are three standouts. if these appear on the heap, i'm swooping!

*rubbing hands in glee and anticipation*

;)

time for a cool change

according to the weather forecast, we should be getting a storm later today, ahead of some cooler days. welcome relief from the rather warm and humid conditions currently doing the rounds!

spent the weekend away in caloundra... no air conditioning... 12 people, one pedestal fan... lots of mossies (apparently... though i only ever saw one and came away without a single bite). came back home... still hot... and find that the fan in my room has gone walkabouts during my absence! turns out that my sister had taken it... fair enough i suppose, i *did* take it from her room while she was overseas earlier this summer! :p

so i grab the (less) portable evaporative cooler from downstairs and try to find room for it in my (not) room, and try to make up for some lost sleep.


quite apart from the weather, i've concluded (less begrudgingly now, than earlier) that other issues require cooling change. will just have to trust that it is/will be for the best.


nibbling::musk stick, courtesy of a colleague. haven't had one of these since... primary school?!

share and share alike

saw this on "Ruth - in simplicity" ...

Write a short statement about what's going on in your life relating to the following topics:

1) music
2) movies
3) tv
4) books
5) in the kitchen
6) writing
7) gratitude
8) life


1) music
haven't bought any for ages. occasionally listen to my existing collection, or borrow from other people's collections. listening to a lot of radio (96.5) at work these days. looked through some elementary music books, and had a short piano/music lesson from yung in mid-jan, but that's about as far as the learning and theory went! would still like to be able to understand/read a bit more, and to be able to play something...

2) movies
last cinema outing was for underworld, and before that LOTR3? out of current offerings, wouldn't mind catching the last samurai... been to drive-in a few times last half year or so, and they've recently upgraded to two fields so looking forward to going back (when there's two movies i would quite like to see on). haven't rented for a while either... feeling rather poor/frugal, so only really tend to spend money in this area on other people's initiative rather than my own. other than that, it's picking over whatver free-to-air tv dishes up.

3) tv
bring back the ratings season! survivor (all-stars!) is back, as is er (but the companion site i usually visit seems to have been somewhat neglected...). still tracking that 70's show, the iron chef, and our generation (when they decide to screen it!). the movie show is coming back next week, and i'm hanging out for the new season of 24, and alias...

4) books
recently finished reading chinese cinderella (though i didn't get around to my local library), and the five love languages. in the middle of reading too many other books... most of which i've picked up, read a little of, put down, and henceforth neglected :/ need to pick one or two to focus on working through.

5) in the kitchen
not much happening here... ! psychologically i think i'm less afraid to try, and not have ultra detailed instructions to work from (though instructions are still good!). not that i cook much/often. usually happier to play kitchen hand / assistant cook :) or get the washing up duties...

6) writing
not much happening here either. most of my personal writing is done here, and on another more recent blog. still sporadically email. that's about it... haven't been inspired to write any articles, poems, or otherwise creative piece. note taking and selection criteria don't count, do they? :p

7) gratitude
not enough... recognition of things i should be thankful for... much less actually saying so! grateful for hard lessons... the sort you don't appreciate when you're in the middle of it... but might get the chance to understand afterwards - that's when you realise your need to learn it. so, grateful for the chance to learn (and make mistakes along the way!)

8) life
boy it sure is easier to write about the first few things on this list than the last! where do you start? life is... hmm... ask me later!

you see coincidence, i see providence

(i think that's actually a misquote of morpheus, but i was sure that's what i heard.)

so, i get home, and i'm catching up on my inbox reading... and come across the latest carm newsletter from last week. guess what the devotional in it is based on? yup, psalm 139:23-24... !

---

Search me, O God

Psalm 139:23-24 says, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; 24 And see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way."

These are perhaps some of the most poignant words in
the entire Bible. In these two verses there is so much. We see the
Psalmist asking God to search him, to look to the deepest part of
what he is, his own heart. Why would the Psalmist ask this? And, why
would any of us ask it? The reason is simple. We can not know our
own hearts as well as God can. He indwells us, knows every thought,
is aware of every feeling, and He understands us better than we do.
If we ever needed anyone to reach down in the depths of our hearts
to find out what is unholy so that it can be removed, it is God.

David is the psalmist. David is asking God to prove, to
test his loyalty because he is not like the wicked men spoken of
earlier in the Psalm. David desired God and God's holiness.

When God asked Solomon what he wanted, Solomon asked
for wisdom, and because he did not ask for money, and power, ir
fame, God blessed him with all of them. Wisdom was a great thing to
have. Nevertheless, Solomon fell into idolatry in his letter years
and his wisdom did not help him in the end.

By contrast, David said, "One thing I have asked
from the Lord, that I shall seek: that I may dwell in the house of
the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord,
and to meditate in His temple," (Psalm 27:4). Even though David
committed adultery, murdered Bathsheba's husband, and used deception
to cover his great sins, God, who knew this would happen, said of
him through Samuel, "The Lord has sought out for Himself a man
after His own heart, and the Lord has appointed him as ruler over
His people..." (1 Sam. 13:14). There was a quality in David that
pleased God. What was that quality? It was David's
heartfelt desire for the Lord.

You need to know this because it will help you to
understand the intimacy that David sought with God which ultimately
led him to ask God, "know my heart." David seeks God in the
most intimate place and asks Him to examine him there. David asks
God to see if there is any hurtful way in him -- in the deepest part
of his being. David was being vulnerable.

Is there any hurtful way in your heart? Would you
be able to ask God to search your heart down to the deepest levels
and reveal to you the secrets that not even you know is there? Would
you trust God enough to ask Him to expose and root out of you that
which is displeasing to Him? Do you have the courage to bow your
knees, to lower your head, to lay prostrate before God, and to
become as vulnerable as you can to Him as you ask him to look into
your heart, to see if there's anything bad in there, and to deal
with it accordingly? Such a request grows out of humility as well as
increases humility. It is the ultimate trust in God. It can be
scary. But it is definitely good.

David did not simply ask God to see if there's
any hurtful way in him and leave it at that. He asked to be led by
God in the everlasting way. This means to be corrected and
sanctified by God's loving hands.

David did not know the Messiah since Jesus was
far distant in the future. But David knew the Messiah would
come. You, on the other hand, know the everlasting way -- if
you know Christ as your savior. Jesus, who is God in flesh,
who died in the cross and rose from the dead bodily, is the
everlasting way. Therefore, for you to be led by God in the
everlasting way is to be led to Christ.

May the desire of your heart be that you would seek Jesus,
that you would dwell in His house forever, and that you would behold
His beauty. God desires that you desires this because He loves you.

---

sleepless nights, wakeful mornings

what's a man to do?

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
-- Psalm 139: 23-24 (NKJV)

application points from sunday's bible study might apply?

• repent of sin
  
• listen to Godly wisdom
  
• have Jesus occupy my house

let the rubber meet the road...

ooh, the power!

arrived home to see that my powerball has arrived in the mail. saw this gadget a few weeks ago courtesy of a colleague at work, and thought: cool! and useful to boot. so i ordered my own :)

only tried it for a few minutes, then had a need to write something down, and discovered i can't write straight cos my arms are still feeling it! hehe... looks like someone's arms could do with a bit of strengthening :p

sleep!

writing selection criteria is a major pain.
i can't believe it took me so long - but that's probably because i've never done it properly before.
i really hope all this effort pays off... !!

*yawn*

late night. rainy morning. gloomy skies. groaning my way out of bed.

at work. sitting still. drooping eyelids. darting eyes not looking at anything at particular. slow turning of the mental cogs flitting in and out of thoughts. big yawn. and again.

what am i doing here??

*yawn*

*sigh*

left foot in front of right foot,
right foot in front of left foot,
left foot...