why is it that

sometimes...

- when you need to wake up, all you want to do is sleep for a few more hours;
but when you need and have the "time" to sleep, you inexplicably wake up early?

- when you want to be strong and brave, your eyes well up and tears flow; but when you want to have a good cry, the ducts run dry?

- broken dreams are the hardest to let go of, to leave behind and move on...

...

fools have dreams too, but who dares doesn't always win.

...

when you think about it, "why" isn't really the right question to be asking, is it? that can be hard to get past/wrap your mind around too. guess it means this grasshopper ain't yet ready to leave the monastery.

...

if you go basejumping sans chuteware, i wonder what sorts of thoughts run through your mind in that span between take off and landing? (yes this is a random-ish sort of thought; no i am not suicidal :p)

"hmm... i think i forgot to turn the stove off this morning"?
"note to self: remember to buy milk and bread on the way home"?
"air is good, i should plant more trees"?

or maybe something more along the lines of

"uh-oh, this is gonna hurt something serious"?
"i hope i blank out before i hit - they say this increases your survival chances"?
"I AM ICARUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSS!!! *splat*"?

...

not all crash landings are rough and tumble affairs though. while a "lesser" pilot (again, not that i know *anything* about flying planes!) might focus on the lights and alarms going off all over the instrument panel, the smoke pouring out of the engines, the stuck landing gear, the hole in the fuselage, screaming passengers (well, those who are still conscious anyway) in a rapidly depressurising cabin, the concussed copilot and the persistent thought of "why me?!", a good pilot would focus on scanning the horizon to ascertain the best landing spot available, to control the impact vector and approach as horizontally as possible, to glide/slide upon impact, and generally think about how best to manage the given situation (rather than focus on the situation itself).

methinks 'tis time to clock up a few more hours on the old flight sim.