pre-script: the photo below has no relevance to the text, other than a tenuous link via the word 'thoughts/thots' being the sole excuse for displaying a pic i took on my recent trip :p
how quickly the joys of a relatively relaxing holiday fade into the background, as a return to old habits of sleep deprivation snap back into place and the constant tiredness reclaims its stake.
to make things worse, i've been on training most of this week, as i'm on deployment to another business line for the next 3 months. when things are busy (as it has been for the past 6 months) i don't get a chance to switch my mind off during work and to feel the tiredness except for the involuntary yawns. sitting in training is a different matter... in the constant battle to stay awake and alert, i'm sure that half the information has either never made it into my ears, or has only passed through as a fleeting fog. i feel like i've retained so little, and can only look forward to struggling with incompetence and lack of understanding once i start answering queries.
tried to make up for it by taking an afternoon nap yesterday, which actually turned into a 3 hour sleep! not sure if it was that which made it difficult to sleep later that night (or should i say earlier this morning... :$) i tossed and turned, my mind being rather uncooperative in resting from the thoughts it was engrossed with pursuing.
then i overslept this morning, and rushed to get to work on time. felt reasonably ok in the morning, but by the afternoon session my mind had wandered a world away from what i was supposed to be learning. perhaps it was the recent reacquainting with a few tadashi maekawa poems i had read a few years back (a trip down memory lane courtesy of checking my sitemeter referral logs, which showed that someone had found my post by searching for the book in which i saw these translated poems), coupled with an old poem of mine i recently revisited, and the sleepless thoughts of the night before, which produced the rather unexpected situation of my drifting mind suddenly coming up with the rough draft of a new poem! thought i'd better get some of the words down on paper before it all drifts away, and work on refining it when my mind is more awake.
or perhaps it will come together more when i head for bed tonight :p