spoke too soon...

isn't it always the way? you speak words which come back to be eaten...

my experience with the new router dropped far, far below any semblance of plug 'n' play, after i actually plugged in a phone to start using voip. to be fair, after a whole lot of trialling and testing, plus reading the whirlpool forums to see other people's experiences with similar products, i'm quite convinced that the problem isn't so much with the router (tho it's still taking upwards of 15 minutes to achieve line sync under certain conditions) as it is with the supplied belkin splitter - quite the dodgy piece of hardware, and source of much head-scratching and wasted time. am now running with a substitute setup to emulate the splitter functionality (good thing i had some gear that i prepared earlier), and this is running with a lot more stability. wonder whether my splitter will get replaced with something that actually works properly... wait and see how customer support respond to my email.

meanwhile the boys piled into my not-much-room of a room after BSL last night to view some of the oddness to be found on google video. one of these being a clip of two asian dudes miming along to the backstreet boys' i want it that way - pretty stupid but funny viewing, better than their first effort, and inspiring a female duo copycat with a spice girls number, an effort which doesn't even come close... wonder if these boys got their inspiration from the korean chin2 lads?!

oh and i can't talk about strange videos without going past the lord of the tight pants from kollaboration 2002. one of the guys found this online and we re-enacted it as part of the entertainment for our youth group's sister's night earlier this year. it was one of the silliest but funniest things i've been a part of, and quite a good workout at that ;) here's a shot of some of us in action...

the band just got broader :)

my broadband, that is...

goodbye ASSL1, hello brand spanking new belkin ADSL2+ modem/router with wifi and voip! here it is sitting on top of my old d-link router, and with an old phone plugged in to test voip.

been waiting a few weeks for confirmation of reduced pricing on this hardware for existing customers, and i'm happy to say that my isp came through in rewarding loyalty with an $80 discount. even though i'd waited some time for the hardware, the unit sat around for a few days before i got around to installing it. was supposed have my weekly meet with noodlez, but that became a drive to quest for ice-cream, which turned into some pearl milk tea (i decided to try "barley" flavour, which wasn't too bad...) anyways we ended up back at my place to play with the new toy.

i'm impressed - it got here within 4 days of ordering, and came pre-configured for my account. except for the rather sparse documentation and the unexpectedly longer times to retrain/sync the connection (and how the router reboots for almost every configuration change), it was essentially a plug and play experience. after hooking up the wired connections, i got out my pda and we went for a walk down the street, travelling about 3 houses down before the wireless signal got out of range. also did a quick test of the voip functionality, but will have to do the changeover of the main house phones another time to start taking advantage of the lower call rates.

so what can i do with all this speed (currently getting 5Mbps+ download and just under 1Mbps upload) at my disposal? how bout some sermon podcasting? hmmm... if only i could listen as quickly as i can download! :p

speaking of singapore...

two brushes with whispers of singapore today:

1. while hanging out with the ACCC, found out that they're looking to do a STEP program next year, possibly on board the Doulos, which could involve singapore being one of the ports... made me wonder if i should look into that too, as i had previously considered visiting the doulos before my friends and supportees finish their term in december, but that was before family commitments required my leave to be used for other purposes (funnily enough, to go to singapore!). going on STEP with at least (the comfort of knowing there are) some people i know could be an option... and i have been mulling over doing some form of short term trip next year... so could this be a tap on the shoulders? or am i just being drawn to the prospect of combining service and play (not that they're necessarily mutually exclusive) with the mention of that country? anyways, although i have access to up to an additional 8 weeks of purchased leave, i might not be able to arrange to take it at the right time, especially if i stay in my current role, for the STEP dates may land smack bang in the midst of our busy season of the year. all of which makes the fact that i forgot to send off a job application for an internal transfer to a different section (which should be more flexible with leave timings), due by COB yesterday, all the more D'OH! will have to try for a late submission first thing monday, and leave the opening of doors for God to handle.
2. went to a meeting tonight where pastor chris chia from singapore's arpc was the guest speaker - it was supposed to be for the CiA youth group, but there were quite a few parents and other visitors like myself also present. though i had somewhat met him on his last two visits to our church, and might have been greeted by him upon entering the hall for morning service when i visited arpc last month, tonight was probably the first time we had exchanged words sufficient to pass for conversation. of course, he didn't remember me from the recordings and questioning during his previous talks here... not that i expected him to :p it was good of him to take time out of his holidays to "work", and i hope the words spoken helps to bear fruit in the lives of the listeners.

everybody's leaving town

seems that a lot of people will be away at various stages during the summer holidays. all the more reason to be seeking out my own fun, i say :p

i'm rekindling my love affair with the straits nations and returning there for my third visit within 16 months come my summer break in about two months' time. this time the primary reason is to attend (yet) another wedding dinner in KL, and of course i'll be tacking on things like the visiting of other friends in KL and SG, the eating of fine local fare, and whatever other happenings in which i can manage to involve myself... including hopefully capturing some more nice nightscapes like the one below :)

oh ok so it's not *really* a love affair - i just said that to make it sound more exotic ;) but this trip is currently shaping up to be a lot less planned than my previous ones. i decided on a whim to make the trek because i could (thanks to public service holidays on top of the standard public holidays, i get a whole week and a bit off without needing to make a dent in my annual leave account), and it sounded like a crazy enough idea to fly 8 hours to attend a wedding where i won't know a single soul. that's except the bride, whom i've never met. who says i'm not adventurous, eh? hehe.

so far, the dinner is the only thing actually on the itinerary. the rest is a big blank. i'm sure something will work itself out between now and then... i'm not sure when i became this carefree - usually i'd be a lot more particular about the particulars. maybe i've just lost the will to be bothered any longer.

maybe i *should* just leave everything to the last minute. having booked my tickets two weeks ago (buying direct from the airline worked out to be cheaper than going through any travel agent/ticketing agent) on a sale and bonus (frequent flyer) points promotion, they've now brought out another sale with even more bonus points, which i could have had for ~$2 more if only i wanted two weeks. how was i to know right? will have sufficient points by the end of this trip to be upgraded to an elite silver membership in krisflyer, which sounds rather grand and previously thought to be out of my travelling reaches... and would be nice except i'll probably not have a chance to use it before it expires.

but... like the last few times when i've been in singapore and said/thought: gee i don't know if/when i'll ever be back here again... i guess i should learn to never say never :)

then there was light

it was an eerie feeling driving through a few blacked out suburbs - no house lights, no street lights, no traffic lights. only some moon light and the headlights from other vehicles caught in traffic and jams. there were people directing at the major intersections - they had no/barely visible lights, no reflective gear... better than nothing though. i decided to forego the right hand turn towards the church, an intersection that had no such assistance, and which has bad visibility at the best of times. went the long way to double back courtesy of a roundabout, and joined with the rest of the CWMC folk to ponder our options in the glow of the tea candles supplied by renai. we were already running late, and could either make the trek to an alternate location and start even later, or postpone the session. i personally was not keen on the implication of option 2, which would mean 5 hours worth of back to back sessions on top of an already full sunday. but that's where the majority leant, so...

then just as we had reached a decision, the lights came on! what timing :)

when daydreams turn sour

i don't know if i have an overactive imagination, but on my good days i certainly think i could mount a pretty strong case for such an argument. by good i mean the days when said imagination is being particularly active. it has a tendency to distract me from what i need/ought to be doing, and sometimes in keeping me awake, even creeping into my real dreams (ie the ones you have when you are asleep) on the odd occasion.

the subject matters vary, but the topic of romance is a definite 常客. not that daydreaming, or romance, in and of themselves are bad/unhelpful things, but i am aware of my soft spot for the odd rom(-com) movie... and knowing that the problem of romance is something that girls (generally speaking) find greater struggels with, to the point of it venturing into "female porn" territory... i can't help but wonder whether someone affected by both physical and emotional stimuli is a particularly rare and wretched creature, doubly cursed...

the strength of this course is in the reading

so reiterated our facilitator at the conclusion of the first session of CWMC (condensed world missions course) currently being run at church. heard about the course two sundays ago, and was mildly interested but non-committal. then last week an old school mate of mine suddenly told me he had quit his job overseas and was moving back to aus, and will have some time up his sleeve being unemployed. his situation bore some similarities to mine a few years ago when i quit my job, went on a short term missions trip, and was unemployed after that for some time (much longer than i initially intended!). anyways, he asked me for some input as to what he could do with his time... his pastor also suggested for him to take advantage of the opportunity to go on a STM, something i encourage wholeheartedly - esp. since getting decent blocks of time off is so much harder to arrange once you are in the workforce.

the course is being run primarily for those in my church who are taking part in a YWAM Christmas Outreach program in dec this year, as part of their preparations. but it's open for other ppl to attend as well, and through that encounter with my friend i was reminded that i need to not let missions take such a "back seat" in my life/mind. hence the decision to commit to attending the course. after all, with a promise that it will change my life (or my money back), who could resist? ;)

so anyways, i've just added even more reading to do, on top of my already overflowing backlog...

at least it's for good/noble purposes huh? have stopped watching grey's anatomy and alias, which frees up 3hrs of my week. this will give me more time to read (though my efficiency in using this time remains to be seen...), and will also help fight against the "poison of pre-packaged entertainment", as spoken about in this article (which is actually about the place of children's literature in education, but read the quote and i think you'll see the principle):

Prepackaged entertainment poisons the wells of learning; it dulls our faculty for receiving and appreciating art and literature. Each of us knows the lyrics to a thousand pop songs; but how many poems do we know by heart? The radio has made us deaf to the music of poetry. To spend one's free time reveling in popular music, watching television, and going to the movies, and then to attempt to read Shakespeare for a class assignment — this is an exercise in futility. It is akin to drinking Coke all day, while intermittently attempting to develop a taste for fine wine. Like the palate, the mind must be cleansed if we are to develop good taste.

which got me thinking... how relevant is this idea to the reading of the Bible and other good Christian literature? (these being the "poetry", the "Shakespeare", the "fine wine"etc of a Christian's life)

the journey of 10000 steps...

begins with the first.

my workplace is participating in the 10000 steps challenge, and i have joined a team at work. went and bought myself a pedometer and i'm now counting my steps :) don't think i'll quite hit that 10000 per day mark though, even with my walking to and from work.

funny to think that less than a week ago i was seriously thinking about giving up this walking thing. been walking to/from work for the past 5 months, and it's been ok in the cooler weather. now that it's warming up though, i'm not liking the idea (which turns into reality all too often) of arriving at work on the wrong side of hot and sweaty. plus i've never been keen on exposing myself to the sun too much - and my ~25 min walks is definitely a much higher continuous dosage of UV than i'm happy with. so i was tossing up options like

• starting later so i can drive and park in the adjacent shopping centre once their general parking areas are open (which some people do, but technically we're not supposed to...), or
  
• borrowing access to the shopping centre's staff car park, or
  
• starting and leaving home much earlier to get a spot in the car park at work (tossed this option cos i value my sleep too much to wake up any earlier, esp. seeing as i never get enough as it is), or
• go back to paying for nearby parking (the kind my conscience need not worry about :p), or
  
• starting a bit later to better time the local bus - the one that only comes once in a while, and whose punctuality can't be relied on even though it's at the start of the route! so by the time i wander to the bus stop, spend my time waiting, and finally get to my stop... i pretty much may as well have walked the whole way and saved myself $2

so, essentially it boils down to: what price my physical comfort?

anyhow, now that i'm doing this steps thing, i guess i'll stick to walking. and since i always carry an umbrella in my bag, i suppose i could use it for shade as well as shelter from rain. it's just that i can't stop the pictures in my mind of me strolling with a parasol... *shudder*

another thing i can't get out of my head in relation to this emphasis on walking is the song 500 miles - originally by the proclaimers, and covered by steven curtis chapman on his "all about love" album. it's not a song that i'd have thought belongs on a "christian" album about love, but MB's (SCC's wife) comments in the liner notes sheds new light on its lyrics:

... it celebrates in such a fun way what I know to be true of our commitment to each other. What a wonderful gift it is to know in confidence that the man I'm married to is the man who will be "growing old with me".

beautiful saviour

while battling to stay awake and alert at BSL on friday night, tekken posed a question about ephesians 4:18, which says that the Gentiles "are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart." a dilemma is reached when we also consider romans 12:2, which tells us to "not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind".

in short: how can the alienated person ever reach the stage of renewing their mind when it's the hard heart which causes the ignorance in the first place?

maybe it's because i wasn't following as lucidly as i should have been, so it took me a few moments to go from "so what?" to "oh yeah... that's a BIG problem! hmm... good question!"

i pondered the impasse awhile, before the solution dawned on me from way back in ezekiel 36:26, where God, as part of his promise to act for the sake of vindicating his holy name, promises Israel thus: "I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh."

a new heart of flesh to replace the old hardened heart of stone! and it's indeed the wonder of the mystery of the gospel, "that the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body, and partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel." (ephesians 3:6)

this thought and reminder of God's graciousness in dealing with humanity... in dealing with me... has been in my mind all weekend, and i was glad to be met in church with these words from our song of the month. oh what a beautiful saviour we have!

All my days I will sing this song of gladness,
Give my praise to the Fountain of delights;
For in my helplessness You heard my cry,
And waves of mercy poured down on my life.

maranatha, hallelujah, amen!

now in 5.1 channels!

these are the speakers i lugged back from sydney in my bag ~1.5 months ago, and which have been sitting around waiting for me to hook up. that day was today. it's a cheapie brand and most of the connecting wires turned out to be too short for me to place the various bits and pieces where i originally intended. but they were free (thanks to sandk), and so after a bit of rearrangement i have a workable setup. gave it a quick test with a couple of dvds i have, and they're a marked improvement over my previous 2.0 gig (which speakers are now used for the sound from the VCR) :D

what a perfect excuse to go and rent some dvds, hehe.

also did a bit of blogger hacking today and implemented a few tweaks. even though the instructions were pretty useful, i still had trouble with the inline comments, eventually tracing the problem to a code snippet placement issue. just serves to confirm that i'd never cut it as a coder, so i'm glad there's folks a-plenty out there with code-friendlier brains than i, who have been kind enough to share their wisdom.

all in all, a mildly sense-of-achievement-inducing day :)

a visit to chicago's

not the city across the ocean (i wished!), but a local eatery by the name of chicago's piano bar & grill. i'm not actually sure if the piano in the picture is a real one... but i thought the dancing blues brothers figures on top were kinda cute :) this is where i lunched today with an old friend, and my verdict is that the food was ok but overpriced at double digits for burgers and fries. maybe it would have been better at night with some live entertainment. might consider trying something else from their menu another time... when there's some music happening :p

after lunch i wandered around the shops a bit to do a spot of window shopping - something i haven't done for a while. also went to an ATM to withdraw some money. that might seem too insignificant a thing to blog about, but the last time i got cash from an ATM was more than 2 years ago!

then i dropped into my previous workplace to say g'day to some of the folks there. a lot of things haven't changed, and i'm glad it's not something i need to worry about any longer. might use my next flex day to do lunch with my old teammates.

ok time to see if i can claim some more $$ from mr tax man...

speedreader i am not

i remember getting flyers for speedreading courses when i was in uni. never could be bothered forking out the $$ to up my reading speed, and always a bit skeptical about being able to comprehend/retain information when reading at high speeds. sometimes i wished i had the skills...

there's too much to read and not enough time to read it all. maybe i need to be a lot more selective. just like when i got a bit excited about a recent discovery (from which i decided to follow the blog of a person who i actually saw in real life a week or so later), tonight i've clicked my way to singapore and a bunch of christian bloggers there... the trail i followed (aka stuff i want to read, but not so fast that it goes in one eye and out the other!):

• gracenotworks (new "issue" just released)
• christ hacks (see here for explanation of what this is -- cool idea what)
• associated material from christ hack's contributors, eg. singapore living, which looks like it has some good stuff to explore before my next visit to the island nation (but err... i'm from an island nation too...)

meanwhile i think i'll go ahead with the 30 days of prayer during ramadan, which kicks off today. hmm... that actually seems like a good idea/contribution for christ hacks, might try and get a submission in :p

- - - - -

work bites. days are long. breaks are few and running on bare minimum. i want out of peak. badly.

but i did have the pleasure of telling one client today that they are getting a small refund instead of a bill for a few hundred dollars, because two weeks ago something they said triggered a suspicion in my mind which i've been following up, and this eventually resulted in an amendment done to correct an error and making their day. they remembered me, and thanked me for doing my job well. i guess, after all, that is what i'm getting paid to do.

still, i'm glad i don't have to go to work tomorrow - the joys of flex time :) i'm going to sleep in, have a lazy morning, hopefully meet some friends (visiting from overseas, but rather busy/packed schedule wise) for lunch, and set up the 5.1 speakers i lugged back from sydney more than a month ago. but i should probably take care of doing my tax return before indulging in too much play...

- - - - -

p.s. yeah... 90 mins later i'm still up... adding a "small world" update -- just discovered that one of christ hack's contributors seems to be friends with a guy who i knew from church here (when he was here for uni). shouldn't be too surprised cos i'm pretty sure they all go to the same church in sg. ok head starting to hurt. must sleep before i find even more things to add to my reading list!

watching grass grow

i generally like the few chinese music CDs i own. my "most wanted 2001" double album from sony music took badly to living in my CD wallet in the car some years back, they've never quite looked or played the same. hoping it was just a dirty surface, i decided to try resurrect them by giving the surfaces a bit of a clean/wash. inspired by a spot of googling for tips (and getting some conflicting advice!), i employed a tag-team combination of listerine mouth wash and soap resulting in two shiny and fairly promising looking discs. disc #1 passed a play test perfectly, so i was expecting similar results for disc #2. unfortunately looks were deceiving and this disc was causing all sorts of problems for the two drives i tested it on. another wash followed, with similar results. even EAC is struggling - would you classify 4.4% of one track (about 12 seconds of audio) read in 90-odd minutes a bit of a snail's pace? now i'm beginning to suspect that the damage goes deeper, and i may never be able to listen to these songs again. shucks...

so i actually spent a good part of my evening listeing to the best of electric light orchestra, while reading through the instruction manual for my new tough solar pathfinder watch by casio, which arrived in the mail today. it's been some two years since i first considered getting a tough solar watch, and thanks to ebay, this journey is over :) it's not actually a g-shock, which i think i would have ideally liked, but then again i don't exactly expose my watches to the sort of treatment that necessitates g-shock protection. i loved the solar power and the idea of the full auto light feature, but can see how the novelty (and perhaps usefulness?) of it can wear off very quickly :p the other features such as tidal graph, moon phase and bearing function (which i'll have to try out one day), which interesting, will probably see very little productive use also... anyways, i am satisfied with the purchase (only ~60% of what my original g-shock cost). only thing is, why can't the light stay on for more than ~1second? surely it couldn't have been that difficult to have the light stay on as long as you kept the light button depressed?? i think that would have been more useful than knowing tide times...

getting a move on?

halfway through reading the rebuttal/defence to the original article, i'm struck by a comment about proverbs 18:22 -- is the "find" really meant to be read in an active sense? a dictionary and concordance check later, and i remain skeptical about this being the definitive reading. i certainly don't dispute the fact that the guy has a responsibility to pursue, i'm just not sure that this is what this verse is saying/advocating, in the same sense that the author is using it.

the other thing that struck me was the next paragraph advising women to not advertise/glorify their single years, for the reason that it gives guys reason to leave them alone. food for thought, and i'm actually quite ambivalent (in the technically correct sense of the word :p) about that statement.

in any case, the article raises some important issues about the cost of delaying marriage... issues worth another look. i think i'd class myself as generally pro-young marriage (assuming spouse-selection principles like those of 1 cor 7:39), so to all those who are/have gotten married at a "relatively" young age, God's grace to you :) and to all those who aren't like Paul, but are yet to leave behind the season of singlehood... gambatte yo!

big day out

no sleeping in today - it was up at 7:30am, head out ~8am to paddington flowers and cafe for a breakfast with the SWANS crew. the claimed "city views" weren't that great, so i don't feel we missed out on too much with our indoor seats. after a bit of a feast (their big breakfast was of filling proportions), general laments about the loss of childhood in today's society, playing spot the politician look-a-like and trying to scare i mean warn yannie with stories of pickpockets and assorted scammers she might encounter in her upcoming trip, we parted ways and i caught a lift with the hebrew judge to join the chews in their brisbane pit stop + brunch do. more food (this time consumed at a slower pace) and conversations. 'twas good to see some people i haven't seen/talked to in a while (i still feel like i've been out of it for ages with my recent block of being away), but also a reminder of the distance that continues elsewhere. after giving yung some impromptu mando tutoring, and loitering around until the last remnants of the guests, i left with the nenes and hung out with them for the rest of the afternoon (lol... that was an unintentional pun, but only appreciable if you know the real people :p) to run a few errands before coming back to my place for a sit down and wander around the backyard. watched GITS-SAC over dinner and i understood it! unlike the first episode which i had to rewind and watch a second time, and am still a bit hazy about... anyways the website has been redesigned since i last visited, and there's a funky backing track to which my leg is shaking along as i type... but i'll probably get sick of it very quickly and in any case my net connection has been patchy all night so i think i'll get off now.

the bible, abridged version

at BSL tonight shte2 mentioned the recent launch of the "100 minute bible". in a moment of diversion, we came up with our own abridgment attempts...

• the bible in 5 seconds, aka elaine marie benes version:
  God creates heaven and earth, yada yada yada, God creates new heaven and new earth...
  
  
• the bible in sounds:
  yay... awww.... YAY!!!
  
  
• the bible in MSN emoticons (variance of the above):
  :) :( :D
  
  
• the bible in 5 letters:
  J-E-S-U-S

well, frivolity aside, my real reactions are echoed by the words already published by the good folk at CHN. that plus being reminded that if i really believed the worth of God's words, i'd read it more... seems to be one of those things i'm always striving to maintain and improve. anyways it was good to get back into BSL meetings cos i've been away from it for over a month.

speaking of studying, i got my test results back today. initially put off opening the envelope cos i didn't want to risk being disappointed after a flustering end to my working week. when i did open it, i was stunned...

in a good way, so yay :)

God (and the examiner!) is gracious.

*chuckle*

well, given my pitiful score from yesterday, i don't think geek girls are an option! it's funny reading though, hehe.

but i should really sleep... and initial plans for an early(/ier) night are a distant memory...

plain old middle-of-the-road

i didn't think i'd score that low... :|

i hope i do better in tests that count :p tonight shte1 asked me again whether i've got my ITB results back, and i haven't. i'm hoping to score somewhere above 50... as long as it's a pass, i'll be happy (though i'm sure i'd be happier if it's more than a pass, but let's be realistic here...)

anyways, i'm pretty sure that she beat me... not that it's a competition :) i'm pretty sure she's also my first official passenger, and the first to sit on my new car seat covers, which were freshly installed this afternoon. the astra upholstery has too strong an affinity to fluff, so i decided that maintenance/cleaning wise it's easier to cover at least the front seats. i ummed and ahhed at supercheap auto for a good while, before finally settling on a silver dragon design, which looks very similar (except for the headrest part) to this. then i spent probably the best part of an hour putting them on! and that despite my relatively small/thin hands/digits, because the fastening of the straps required a lot of reaching and poking under the seats, and there's really not a lot of room down there, not to mention the fact that cars aren't really designed for people to be trying to peer under the front seats and reach in and do stuff in that small space... i just hope i won't need to remove/reinstall them in a hurry.

good timing and other coincidences

have encountered some comments spam in the past, and yesterday got one mere minutes after posting my most recent entry. so i've been wondering what can be done about it... and today i happened across another blog with word verification, which i found out is now offered by blogger and so i've turned it on quick smart. now i can get back to seeing my comments counters stay at zero :p

in other "small world" news, i was viewing jan's photos of her recent trip to brissie, and discovered a pair of faces i recognised! this couple are friends of a friend, and i had accompanied said friend to visit them in toowoomba last year. turns out that the wife is jan's sister-in-law! whoaness...

oh and i could well have missed this if not for a timely check of /karen/, and also being advised of it by ecnerwal, but ghost in the shell - stand alone complex starts tonight. i think i'm going to be thoroughly lost watching it, but what the hey... i decided to drop grey's anatomy from my diet earlier this week to make room for survivor: guatemala, and will give GITS-SAC a spin while i'm picking up new shows :)

relevant humour

yes it's still peak. no i don't like it (and there's nothing like having just taken a holiday to make the daily facing up to the busyness of work that much less joyous). this comic from a mass forward at least raised a timely chuckle...

having said that, i haven't actually purchased any petrol since late june! and that was still back in the day of being below $1.05 a litre. imagine that...

many thoughts, few words

there's a quote which says: The prolongated application of a polysyllabic vocabulary infallibly exercises a deleterious influence on the fecundity of expression, rendering the ultimate tendency apocryphal.

ie. If you use too many long words, nobody will understand what you are talking about!

it doesn't fully relate to anything in particular, but i've been searching for an excuse to use it, and right now there are too many thoughts in my head for the limited words i feel i have which which to express them, so that's enough of a tenuous link for this time of the night :p

anyhow, i'm back. no more travelling in sight... i'm supposed to be back at work in about 9 hours, and i wished i didn't have to. can't my holiday last a little bit longer?

*sigh*

:|

echo sighting

it's been almost a month since i sold my echo. today i saw it in the carpark of a local shopping centre - although i haven't really missed my echo (or even having a car at all) i was a little dismayed to see that the rear bumper has had a noticeable encounter with a hard object of some description...

anyways, while running around a few weeks ago trying to sort out selling this car, i realised that in all my almost 6 years of ownership, i have almost no photos of my car! so, armed with my digital camera, i took a few snaps for posterity (and to include in my for sale ads).

today is also the first day that i've driven my "new" car. it's not the first time i've driven it of course, and i still remember accompanying my sister some 2+ years back when she first bought it. but now that she's moved overseas, i've been the beneficiary of an echo-for-astra upgrade. when i got home from my interstate trip last weekend, i came in the front door and went into the garage to deposit my shoes, and then it hit me: the car in front of me is now mine... all mine! no time to enjoy it yet... that will have to wait until after singapore.

speaking of cars and driving, i emailed some friends in search of a lift to the airport for tomorrow, and for some reason prose turned to poetry... and since that doesn't happen all that happen i figured i may as well post my little effort :p

hello you, with (access to) a car
and who from me reside not too far:
i'm needing a lift to the airport
can you assist and lend your support?
friday 9-ish i need to depart
thanks in advance with all of my heart;
please let me know as soon as you can
answer "yes" and i'm your biggest fan!

and now... to the business of packing.

pit stop: brisbane

back from sydney (entry on that still WIP), about to head off for the malayan peninsular in a few days. quoting myself in an email to fom about upcoming trip:

i think i've been so starved of spending chunks of time just being with friends that i'm actually sorta looking foward to the high dosage of people time (+ enjoyed the bits from sydney)... kinda funny - almost seems like ppl here are too busy that the only way i get to hang out with friends is to visit them as an interstate/overseas guest (guess that makes me more "special" and a higher priority person to spend time with/on -- or maybe i'm just being cynical :p)

granted, i too would readily regard a "from out of town" visitor as higher priority, given that opportunities to spend time with them are theoretically significantly fewer than someone more "local". i guess i'm just lamenting the busyness of lives which results in the observable chasm between the treatment of the local and the sojourning friend.

where is the (local) community?

in greek: koinonia
the fellowship that i seek
should i instead be?

[ this haiku came to me while doing a 40 dop related bible study earlier this year, and i thought i wrote it down somewhere but i can't remember where... and i can't remember if the last line is the same as the original... how many variations of thoughts could i have expressed in 5 syllables? hmm... ]

All that iS

Should I run and hide,
or stand up and fight?
I'm totally confused
with the maybe and might,
plus the ifs, buts, et al -
just wanna do what is right.
Though not by my own sight
but in line with God's light.

- - - - -

i don't know if it's the fact i haven't had enough sleep, or that i'm distracted by certain thoughts occupying my mind, or maybe it's just not my day. work was a frustrating drag, even with two more breaks than i was expecting. seems like i had an unusually high ratio of long, teeth-gritting, fist-clenching, bury face in hands type of calls. was also a late finish, and i decided to treat myself to a bus ride home rather than walk it. sometimes it's just the little things that help... (as well as being the things that can get to you!)

i'm so glad i have some leave and holidays coming up - hope the time away helps to relieve some of this tension... or help me regain some perspective in a "turn your eyes upon Jesus" kind of way. things don't always turn out the way i want/hope, and the unknown is typically quite murky, but it's good to know and be reminded every now and then that i'm not in control :p

is it ironic that what should be reassuring can be frustrating as well? hmm...

panning for gold

i like to read blogs. a few times in the past i've browsed sites like RBJ to find bloggers.
but that was more so to look for asian bloggers. or bloggers in australia. or really asian bloggers in australia.

though i wasn't really looking, i've recently "discovered" a veritable treasure trove of Christian (as far as can be told) bloggers in australia. running that through the hyperbole filter means i've actually been spending too much time (time that i should be spending sleeping) reading a blog i've come across. and i've been following the odd link from this blog to his friends and his friends' friends etc. too much to discover, too quickly i want to absorb it all, too little sleep in the end.

i like to begin at the beginning, and get a feel for why people start their blog. then i try to quickly catch up (assuming, firstly, that i get hooked by the beginning) before quite possibly following in a reasonably regular fashion (assuming, secondly, that the archives have maintained my interest). my favourite bloggers are those who give some insight into why they write (and choose to do so via a blog), then post somewhat infrequently (less archives to process :p), and it's rather acceptable if they're a bit more regular by the time we get to the present.

a few of these connected bloggers are writers (among many other things). i've been wondering if maybe i could be an aspiring writer. then again, maybe i'll just be a write -- someone who writes but doesn't quite consider themselves up to the worth/challenge of being a proper writer. i'm sure that one who consistently deals violently with the english language could never be a writer ;)

i ate thai.
it was very nice :)
i shall think fondly of the taste as i drag myself off to bed.

there's no "i" in team...

...but there is a me in there if you mix it up a bit!

random quote from dr house, the eponymous oddball (but rather gifted) doctor of the newish tv show. watched it for the first time tonight, along with a bit of rock school, which brought back memories of the jack black movie school of rock (though i suppose the resemblance is hardly accidental). don't know that i'll stick to either, but i think i will persist with grey's anatomy for the time being. the splurge of idiot-boxing was a chance to tune out on this midweek lull in busyness, now that a few outstanding matters (my exam being one) have been dealt with earlier today. will have another busy weekend coming up... in fact i'll be out of town for the next 4 consecutive weekends - and travelling here and there using planes, trains and automobiles. hey maybe i could do a movie about that! oh... already been done? shucks...

it's funny how unpredictable it can be when you submit stuff for other people to read/scrutinise. like my exam paper, or job applications... speaking of which, i've not heard any response... anyways, some things that you feel good/confident about, actually turn out to be less than expected. on the other hand, some things which might be quite ordinary, could turn out to be a lot more significant. now my exam paper is one that i'm hoping belongs to the second category! having ditched the postponement idea, i did go ahead with it this morning. i didn't feel too prepared, and during perusal time, i was mentally calculating my marks along the lines of: yep, i'll probably lose 2 marks here, maybe 4 there, and a couple more for that question... which leaves the two last questions that comprise 50% of the marks, and for which i need to squeeze probably at least 10-20 marks out of! let's just say that even given the choice of topics on which to use for those questions, i always felt i was going to be struggling. blame my lack of preparation. blame my rusty study skills. just blame ME.

like house alludes to in one of the conversations during tonight's episode, you can either worry yourself silly with self-doubt and lack of confidence about your decisions/actions, or (in his case) back your judgment/skill/training and push forward tenaciously. as for the things i've sent out, it's too late for self-doubt in any case! what news will the boomerang bring? will the boomerang even return? will i catch the boomerang or will it come from behind and whack me on the back of my head? too many questions and not enough sleep, hence to bed i go...

Look Up, Ye Saints

His heart grows heavy at the pain and destruction;
Doubt and self-blame - his nighttime's companions.
For the parts he played, absolution he seeks,
And as for the rest... these to you he entrusts.

You alone can understand the confusion,
And can gather up the brokenness and strife -
The only things offered by the downcast -
And make something beautiful, giving life.

Many are the burdens I cannot handle
All these I place at your feet.
Help me to let go of my self-reliance
Trusting these needs, you'll perfectly meet.

plan B

another night, another raised stress level, for i've managed to cover an additional big fat zero number of pages of study. rather most of the night has gone into composing and reworking draft #2, plus getting some outside advice on the task. i'm starting to wonder if i shouldn't postpone my exam - i still have a week's slack to play with... on the other hand, part of me just wants to get it over and done with, so i can start focussing on other things waiting in the wings.

it's hard to think straight when your brain is half dead.

this is not working

i have covered all of about 5 pages in two hours.

i am bothered and very distracted by it.

i feel extremely unproductive.

now i need to sleep.

i shake my fist.

ARGH!!!

meh...

cold air, hot water

someone told me that yesterday was supposedly the coldest day in this town since sometime in the 20's?? i don't know whether that's true, but it was certainly quite cool... and it continued today.

despite the surrounding coldness, i've been on the receiving end of 3 things these past 24 hours, leaving me feeling slightly besieged and being in a spot of the proverbial hot water. all of it relates to something i've recently expressed and/or the manner in which i've expressed it. of course, the difficulties with achieving clear communication is nothing new to me - how many times in the past has something i've said/written been interpreted one way (what i intended) by some people, and quite another (unintended) way by other people? on the flip side, i've had my fair share of times when i've totally misunderstood/misinterpreted something another person has expressed.

a similar danger exists when we come to reading (and trying to understand) God's word, which is why we need to spend time and effort in getting it right. last night's session had a number of interesting and brain-stretching discussions, all of which i'm sure were hampered to some extent by our collective inability to simply and perfectly communicate what we mean.

ah the joys of life! :p

random thought: i wonder whether the actual/specific language in use has any bearing on the ease/simplicity of communication? being fairly monolingual, i can't really begin to comment or speculate. i do know that i have, on the odd occasion, thought in chinese rather than english... horses for courses, perhaps?

anyways, i was supposed to have done a lot of study today. hours logged so far = less than 0.01... even if i was an optimist i reckon i'd think i'd be in trouble for my exam!

3 years old!

ah yes... it's anniversary time for nebolocity once more, which reminds the owner that he's a year older! :|

and as seems to be becoming a tradition, i had a look back through my previous birthday related posts, trying to remember how my previous few were spent. some (potential) trends:

1. i tend to get sick around this time (if you can take 2 time out of 3 to be statistically significant :p i've got a bit of a cold at the moment, but it doesn't seem to be *too* bad...)
   
2. some people are consistent in remembering my birthday and offering wishes etc
3. some people drop off the credits reel (not that i'm keeping score - the credits list is just to acknowledge those tho remembered/did something about it, and has no negative reflection on anyone not on the list), and a few in particular are perhaps conspicuous by their absence... maybe it's a reflection of the (degraded?) state of my relationship(s) with them?? hmm...
   
4. i tend to not bother doing/organising anything to celebrate
5. i probably decide last minute that i'd like to do something (other than sit at home by myself), but am hampered in my efforts to be social by the presumption that everyone's (too) busy
6. but it's probably the only day of the year that my phone gets a bit of a work out :p
   

actually, come to think of it, what with all these birthdayalarm type deals, i'm sure i'm on more people's lists! not that i use it to keep track of other people's birthdays (i reckon i have a better system), but what's the point of me responding to other people's requests to enter my details on their list, if i get nothing in return when it really counts?? ;)

anyways, here's a roughly chronological log of what i did today, punctuated by the credits...

• it actually "began" with broken sleep and other undesirables... spilt milk, what can you do?
• email from the clan doris - these guys are one of the old faithfuls :) they'll be returning to brisbane in a few months' time, so it will be good to catch up.
• letter from my bro
• sms from jesske, whose birthday treasure hunt i was about to set off to attend. this gem of a lass made several points to include my (actual) birthday in her celebrations (so that i wouldn't feel "i'm all old and nobody loves me" :p), in which her other friends also took part. this was certainly a different experience :)
  
• sms from paranoid android, who remembered for another year :)
• sms from valley
• phone call from pastor and aunty (reception was kinda bad tho, so i couldn't actually catch half of what they were saying... so just said thanks and uh-huh a lot... keke)
• e-card from akane, with a cute-ish hip and funky cheer squad animation. will be seeing her in a few weeks time when i head south for another set of friends' wedding, so that should be good :)
  
• e-card from gfcho (this is one of the birthdayalarm ones, as mentioned last year)
• sms from hz
• dinner at home with the family
• sms from shte1
• sms from brysie
• gelati delivery from some BLT committee people (slam, tekken, todd, cousin fi) who are having a meeting downstairs... but not before we ate about half the pack :)
• sms from mag
  

oh and i had a shared cake (made by valley) with jesske at yf last week... anyways maybe a few more might be added to the list come church/yf tomorrow, but for now i'm going to reply some outstanding smses and aim for an earlier night.

of weddings and things

i've just returned from my cousin's wedding, and am finally getting around to posting up some pictures and thoughts from my sister's wedding last weekend. here's a family photo to the right...

and on the left is the cake my other sister made for her... pretty nifty eh?

my day itself didn't start that well... after a rather late night (due to a late airport run, made later by a delay in the flight), i actually couldn't get out of bed the next morning! by the time i was finally woken up, i had 15 minutes to be at the church to help set up for refreshments. so i rushed out of the house, grabbing all my gear adn change of clothes etc, went to pick up my aunt and arrived at the church a bit late. later (when i went to get changed) i realised i hadn't shaved, and didn't bring a shaver... anyways that's a fairly minor blemish - the ceremony + reception etc was all good and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.

i've had a lingering though that started long before this wedding, and which was again brought into the spotlight during the sermon. here i'll steal from i mean quote shteejei:

One thing stood out quite clearly for me during the day, and that was something mentioned by the guest speaker giving his words of counsel to the couple. He said that the husband’s role, for the rest of his life, was to lead his wife into Christ-likeness (or something to that effect).

At this point a few thoughts came to mind:

• How can a non-Christian husband lead a Christian wife to Christ-likeness?
  
• On the other hand, how can a non-Christian wife be lead into Christ-likeness?
  
• If a husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church, by laying down his life in order to present his church holy and blameless, then how can that happen if the husband does not love Christ (and hence, can not love as he loved?)

What were the thoughts of those in the audience listening to these words who are currently dating or engaged to non-Christians?

the ending question there echoes precisely my own musings
[rest of post under revision]

slowness

writing selection criteria always seems to take too long... i guess it doesn't help if you spent half the night playing head-to-head games on msn messenger (and getting a bit of a whooping in bejeweled) :p oh well, it's been ages since yung and i played, so it was a good bit of fun...

i'm trying very hard to apply the STAR principle in address the selection criteria. i also tailored my resume and used lots of "action words". it's due in about 15.5 hours... between now and then i have another example and the covering letter to write up, plus face a longish and likely-to-be-busy-again day at work, oh and some sleep would be nice too.

i'm doing all this because this is a good opportunity (i think?) to move into a role that will involve more admin and (a lot) less time spent on/chained to the phones. plus it's a higher level role, and it'll probably mean i get to work in the city - don't know if that last one is a good thing, but at least i'm likely to have more opportunity to meet/see friends for lunch and the like.

ok enough procrastinating... come on brain, stay with me!

the heat is on

according to the doctor, i've been hit by a virus that attacks the muscles and causes soreness, headaches, fever, and also sometimes sore throats/coughs and middle ear infections (though i seem to have missed out on the last two). i thought i was getting better today, and after taking an extended afternoon nap i wake up to find i'm still feverish and the headache is still there. the general soreness has decreased, but so too has my appetite.

my MC covers me from tuesday till today... this is, as far as i can remember, the longest unplanned absence i've ever had from work.

- - - - -

brief encounters with the aunties - a two-part act:

1. a few days ago... as the girls started arriving at my younger sister's bridal shower do...
auntie1: so how do you feel, with both sisters about to be married soon?
me: *shrugs*
auntie1: so when is your turn?
me: ...

2. the following night... eldest uncle and his wife drop by to use our fax. his son is getting married the week after my younger sister... which means that out of all my cousins on my dad's side, everyone older than me (plus a few younger than me) will be married by the end of this month...
auntie2: it must be getting to your turn soon - when is your wedding?
me: *shrugs*
me: God knows...
auntie2: i'm sure he does!

is it a sign of old age when you start noticing crows feet in pictures of yourself??

- - - - -

i need to sell my echo, cos i'm taking over my elder sister's astra when she heads off to be married. it seems such a hassling and time-consuming process to sell cars, and i don't think i have the time to go through the private market in the hopes of getting a better price than via dealers. a decent price for a decent car is all i ask... is that too much?

encouraged from reflections

i can't remember when it all started, but for some years now we've had "camp reflections" following the end of the annual yf camp. this year's edition took place last night, and after initially thinking i might not be able to make it, i ended up going for the whole thing and came away much encouraged.

as someone who's been to more camps than they can remember, it probably gets more difficult to have individual highlights that really stand out amongst the sea of memories and experiences. but this year, a few things that i found good/encouraging was:

• some of my group members sharing how they enjoyed the group. it can be hard as a leader when the group members do not appear to be very responsive, or you're just not sure if what you're doing is really having any positive impact/effect. it is quite reassuring to hear that people did take away good times and lessons learnt from our sessions together.
• one of the non-christians who came to camp sharing how she appreciated the opportunity to find out more about christianity, and being placed in a "beginner's group" that was appropriate for where she's at in her search. also her comments about people's general friendliness - this was something i too experienced when i first attended a yf camp way back...
  
• other comments about how new people found the camp environment to be welcoming, non-judgmental, and where people don't just talk about loving others but actually practice it.

of course, things aren't perfect (and i can point to many an example where it's not, though now's not the time or place), but for a pessimistic-minded person like me, i'll grab all the enouragements that i come across :) it's good to know that yf camps are generally heading in the right direction, and is doing well at providing an opportunity for people to come and hear God's word, and be challenged to respond to it accordingly.

it's easy to be discouraged, and i'm thankful for the glimmer of encouragement received last night. that might not always happen... it might not usually happen... i need to bear in mind some other words i read tonight (by some dude called george macdonald - not that i have any idea who he is):

“Am I going to do a good thing? Then Father, into your hands, lest the enemy have me now.”

- - - - -

there's a bridal shower going on downstairs (for my younger sister) as i write... i was just about to start on my dinner when the advance party arrived to start setting up. so i hung about with the girls and leant a hand here and there, and chatted with some people whom i had not seen in a while. i don't think i've ever been alone (ie being the only guy) in a room with so many girls before :p anyways i eventually got kicked out when it was time for the guest of honour to enter.

i've been to a few buck's nights, but have never really known what goes on at a bridal shower. the little bit of prep work i saw tonight showed me at least a glimpse into one such event - a fair amount of effort from the heart. i'm sure my sister will have a memorable evening enjoying treasured friendships. sometimes (maybe too often??) i think girls are better company :p

games be gone

wedding #9 for the year took place earlier today. 4 to go in the next 2 months...

in his speech, one of the groomsman referred to something the groom said during the buck's night. can't recall the precise words, but it had to do with how the groom-to-be, an avid (LAN) gamer, had said that he is willing to give that up for his wife-to-be, so as to dedicate time to the building up of their marriage. a big change; a big sacrifice - but one that is entirely worthwhile. coincidentally i was just reading an article about unplugging from the matrix of the gaming world, so as to

1. find one's true identity in Christ (rather than in the world of the games)
2. to practice better stewardship of our time, and
3. to live in the real world where one's actions have lasting impact.
   

good food for thought... maybe too easy for me to simply nod my head in agreement, given that i've never been into gaming (unless you count minesweeper, solitaire, and those little flash games you find on the net?!) though i can easily see other places where i just as easily spend hours "hiding away".

to my friends J and M: may you not hide from, but actively seek out each other in your marriage, and may you continue growing in Christlikeness all the days of your life.

a matter of perspective

came across these via a forward mass mail thing about the pavement artwork of a UK dude by the name of julian beever - "anamorphic illusions drawn in a special distortion in order to create an impression of 3 dimensions when seen from one particular viewpoint"

here's a shot of what one of his pieces look like from the "wrong" angle:


and now looking at it from the intended perspective:

more pictures at http://users.skynet.be/J.Beever/pave.htm

pretty nifty, eh? makes you wonder whether sometimes you just can't seem to understand certain things, it's because you're standing on the wrong side of the picture...

simple truth?

The stronger our desire for some satisfaction, the more vulnerable we are to being deceived about what is right and wrong in the way we try to satisfy that desire.

currently feeling :: crap

有一首歌说：想哭就到我怀里哭。 但如果我没有那首歌里所讲的哪个“我”，该这么办呢？只好对着这没有耳朵听的 blog 来说一说。。。pretty sad, right?

yeah well anyway, just wanted to get that off my chest somewhere. don't care to elaborate at the moment. been dwelling on it enough as it is.

why does this happen on sundays?! bleh...

kinda quiet around here...

...and it's getting cold too! starting to wear socks to bed and snuggling in that much more to keep my ears warm. ahh, winter...

not much to say. been reading a bit more than i have in recent times, making use of my walks to work and my lunch breaks to catch up on my backlog of Voice of the Martyr newsletters and the Briefing magazine. good things to be filling my mind with.

now that i am walking to/from work, every time i get into my car (eg if i'm going out at night, or on weekends) i feel like i haven't driven it for such a long time, even though it would only be a matter of days at the most. funny how familiar the feeling of driving everyday becomes...

also been cutting down on some tv in order to devote more time to studying - yes, that thing which i thought i'd never do after "uni" became a thing of the past! i'm about a fifth of the way into (and half a week behind schedule) my first subject in the correspondance course from moore. struggling a bit with the discipline of study, but the time spent has been worthwhile.

feels quiet today... i don't have anything on! got a haircut and picked up tickets for the michael w. smith concert in july. did some studying for moore and started BS prep for yf camp. part of me wants to do something spontaneous, however i can't help but feel everyone else is too busy to be spontaneous. oh well, looks like more study and an early night for me...

in contrast, the next 3 months look busy on my schedule, with 2 camps/conferences, 5 weddings and 2 out of town trips, 1 confirmed and 3 other concerts/shows i'd like to attend... and i'm sure there'll be a good number of meetings thrown in the mix too. speaking of trips, my tickets to singapore are booked. i'm still undecided about the mid-week foray into malaysia though... guess i should send that email to my KL contacts and see if it's worth dropping in while i'm in the region. plus i might go visit gentings, but don't know if i'm really up to playing the solo tourist gig. well, enough procrastiating... :p trying to cut down on time spent in front of this type of CRT screen too!

it keeps going up!

not that i really expect the count to decrease at any stage :p

just found out that another person i know got married recently. that's an average of 1 per month this year... with half over half of the year to go, how much higher can the stats get?

dips and peaks

i feel like i'm losing a friend.
to be more accurate, i think the tense in the previous sentence should be past, not present.
it's probably something i'm just not wanting to concede, but the sand's getting too shallow for me to stick my head into.

on a more general level, i feel like this sort of thing has been happening too often/regularly in recent years.
it's times like these that i get rather despondent.

- - - - -

on a happier/lighter note, i went on a day trip yesterday. photoblog below...

after various delays, some 20-odd of us eventually head north and congregate at our first stop: eumundi markets. this is a plate of mixed (ie steamed and fried) vegetarian momos (dumplings) from a tibetan food stall. i'd suggest going without the soy sauce - tastes better with just the sweet chilli :)

before leaving, i spent a good 5-10 minutes standing in front of this band listening to their music. they're called oka, and i quite enjoyed their grooves and tunes. so much so that i bought both of their CDs :p this is the second time i've come away from eumundi markets with multiple CDs (last time it was all 3 CDs of piano music by a guy called richard goldsworthy). these guys really looked like they enjoyed their music making, and i reckon i could have quite happily zoned out for a few hours soaking in their sounds :)

before long however, it was time to head off for a spot of lunch near montville, where nza and tez had been hard at work cooking up a bbq feast for the rest of us. good job guys!

we had to compete with a few bold and daring kookaburras for our food though - a few times one of them would fly down and grab food off the tables in front of rather surprised (and startled) diners!

group picture of the day trippers, comprising some CLAY folk, overseas visitors, and associated friends.

in front of lake baroon, where we had the bbq. pity that photoblogger isn't really suited to displaying panoramas, otherwise i'd upload one i took giving a sweeping view of the lake.

with almost everyone there sporting a digital camera, many a photo was taken... and usually it's the subject of the photos who pose for the camera, but here's a shot of the poses of some of the photo takers :p

while the rest of the gang headed off for a bushwalk, i returned home early with a few others. but not before stopping by briefly at a vineyard (while my driver purchased some wine for his parents), where i took this photo. then there was another short stop in montville itself, browsing some of the shops there. i had heard a bit about this town, but until now had never visited the area. will have to come back another time and spend more time exploring... but that's an adventure for another day and time :)

there's a shutterfly album with more pics from other cameras.

lessons in being lost, then finding your way

a recent episode of lost tells the story of a guy who has spent a long time being secretly in love with his step sister. eventually the truth outs, and she (who has known/suspected for some time) continues to use that to her advantage. anyways he ends up having this "experience" which compels him to let go of what he's been hanging on to, and the next time the two interact and she tries to coerce him to do something by turning on her smile and wily words, he is able to easily say no.

she looks surprised at the response.

my point? don't have one... but notice that while i can identify with the ease of saying no where the decision may have previously been not so cut and dried, i also see that i 偶而会想念，从未拥有的.

maybe it's me who's truly lost :p

breath of a hog

so i've heard some things about these hog's breath cafe joints over the years, but have never ever actually been to one. that is, until tonight.

took the day off work (i like having flex :D) to attend the day session of BBT, and had dinner with my team (plus some partners, and our team manager) at a local hoggies to celebrate the end of our probation period.

had myself a medium steak (i'm never very confident about ordering steak) which turned out to be quite nice :)

found out that my team manager is only a few months older than the youngest person in our team! that made me feel old...

went to a nearby bar/club after dinner, and i got carded. that made me feel (or at least feel like i still look) young :p

padawan, Pauline style

from an interview with George Lucas, speaking about the latest and final Star Wars instalment:

In every one of the Star Wars movies, the concept of a mentor and a Padawan, or a learner, is very important. Why is that?

I’ve had a lot of mentors, especially teachers, who have helped me over the years. I feel very strongly that the future of the human race lies solely in our ability to use our brain and to learn from those who have come before us. That is a central theme in my movies, because it’s important to my life. I very firmly believe that only through education and knowledge – gaining it, then transferring it on to the next generation so they can use it and improve it – will we survive and grow.

rather reminds me of the words of Paul to his disciple Timothy:

Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me... what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also... continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it, and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus...Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory (2 Timothy 1:13, 2:2, 3:14, 2:10)

while education and knowledge may be tools in the process, it is only by God's mercy that he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead (2 Peter 1:3). much more than survival growth, and preserving the human race from one generation to the next, this is about eternal life! :)

Lessons from the Poor

from an article by Wayne Cordeiro:

...I asked, “How can I pray for you? What do you want the most?”

“Pray that we become like you,” was their immediate request. “We do not have freedom of religion. We only have a few registered churches, and the rest cannot attend. We are a persecuted Church. Pray that we can soon be like you!”

“I cannot do that,” I sadly replied. “I will not pray for you in that way.”

“But why?” They pushed back on my seemingly unchristian response.

“You came here after riding thirteen hours on a train. In America, if church is more than thrity-minutes away, people will not go. It’s too far. You have been sitting on a wooden floor without air-conditioning for two days to hear the Word of the Lord. Where I come from, if you cannot sit on cushioned chairs and be in the comfort of air-conditioning, people will find better things to do. You don’t have adequate Bibles, so you memorize what you can gather. In every Christian home, we have an average of three Bibles, but we don’t read any of them.

“No, I will not pray that you become like us. But I will pray that we become like you!”

Sometimes we learn the most from those who have the least. We realize that when we are rich, we are often the poorest, and when we are the poor, that is often when we are the richest!

early winter in brisbane

snow?! i wished... hehe. but a freakish hailstorm late afternoon (of which i was thoroughly unaware, being indoors and not quite in an affected area) left lots of hail lying about the streets where i went later in the day. took a while to figure out what all this white stuff was on the streets/footpaths as we were driving through the area... never seen so much hail in all my time here! kinda cool :)

more news (tho not many pics) at google.

why seed-plant

...there is something to be said for planting seeds, even in harsh climates. A Hasidic tale describes a Rabbi who told people that if they studied the Torah it would put Scripture on their hearts. When someone asked him why he always used the word “on” instead of “in” he said, “Only God can put Scripture inside. But reading sacred text can put it on your hearts, and when your hearts break the holy words will fall inside.”

from http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001078.cfm

Optus, you suck!

why? because:

1. you changed the conditions for rollover. again.
2. you conveniently neglected to inform me of the change.
3. not only did you not inform me before it happened, you still didn't inform me after it happened.
   
4. i wasted time in double checking my calculation to figure out where i went wrong, before realising (via a search on your website) that i hadn't made a mistake, rather you had changed the rules. without telling me.
5. this happened the last time you changed the conditions for rollover, and i had to ring customer service to find out what you did.
6. this time i thought i'd write to you via your nominated "contact us" methods to voice my displeasure, but your feedback form doesn't work!
7. i wasted more time testing your form with two browsers to confirm it wasn't an user error on my part, before confirming that it is indeed your form that is broken.
8. i then tried to use the other feedback form (for Local and long distance, television, Internet), which looked like it might not have the same problem, but upon pressing submit (with a full explanation of why i was using this form rather than the designated one for mobile customers) i am told that the submission failed because you are experiencing "technical difficulties".
9. now i've gone over my bedtime, and will have to spend more time to literally voice my growing list of complaints on the phone.
10. all this, because i was trying to be conscientious in checking over my bill before paying it by the due date... GRRRR!
    

p.s. ooh... it seems my attempt (#8 above) did actually go through, and you're going to respond within 30 days. you'll forgive me if i don't hold my breath while i wait, won't you?

Ohnosecond

That silent moment it takes for you to realise you've just made a VERY BIG mistake.

- - - - -

above "workplace definition" spotted recently in an internal newsletter at work. speaking of which, it's been a bit busier last few days, and for some reason i seem to be taking longer with my calls, and occasionally giving out wrong/incorrect advice or failing to observe set protocols for call handling... hence the ohnosecond which kinda happens after hanging up, or the delayed onset variety where i find out later i did something wrong.

bleh. and it's budget night tonight, which probably means we'll get swamped tomorrow...

been walking to and from work too, given that the cost of my current parking arrangement has recently undergone a 180% hike! more environmentally (and personal health?) friendly... that's what i tell myself :p

- - - - -

more definitions...

Salmon Day – The experience of spending all day swimming upstream only to get screwed and end up dead.

Percussive Maintenance – The fine art of whacking the life out of an electronic device to get it to work.

Adminisphere – The management layers which begin just above the rank and file (ie people who do all the work). Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

hand to the plow

sometimes in life, you
stop in your tracks to wonder.
shifting your gaze with a backward glance, you find yourself
stroking your chin over the why, and
scratching your head over the how.
sighing follows a confused "huh?!!", and
soon your wondering reaches a dead end. then
shaking your head and
shrugging your shoulders, you return to
staring ahead, and
soldiering on forwards.

lettuce eat pizza :)

"lettuce" is the name of our bible study group. we got together for our first social/outing tonight, and ate some...
homemade gourmet pizzas! the first of which was a "hawaiian plus" affair by mellow and fei-lo, and rather nice with the sweet tasting pineapples. but i forgot to take a picture, so... this is the third pizza (yeah i didn't get a pic of the finished product for pizza #2 either... which was a tandoori chicken one) - it's a salmon special i think... both #2 and #3 were by dook
the pizza that quop made! haha... a half and half with chicken, ham & mushroom topped with cajun spices on one side, and pepperoni, sausage, onions & cashew nuts topped with a sprinkling of thyme on the other. don't ask me how the chicken tasted cos i didn't get any...
jesske's super 4-in-1 combo featuring gluten free pizza base... it's a pizza in a pan cos the base kinda got stuck...
designer chinese pizza, featuring hoisin sauce base, bits of char siu pork, some lap cheung, mushrooms, cashews, sweet chili sauce?, and a dash of soy sauce and sesame seed oil. it actually didn't taste too bad (except for the uncooked grains of rice someone threw in!)
last but not least, it's the pingster's meatasaurus monster - we were all quite full by this stage :)
during the night, we also shared our stories of how we came to Christ, and ended the evening with a few rounds of the card game masters and slaves. ironic that the one who brought the game to the group never made it out of the slave ranks :p

a jacobian effort!

after a 6-7 year wait, my "red wine" friend wed his girl :)

- - - - -

that was last weekend. today, yet another wedding.
that's the 5th for 2005 (of 11) i know about, and 3rd that i've actually attended.
some people meet their match at other people's weddings.
hasn't happened to me yet, tho this year is certainly providing many an opportunity :p

home! and back to my own bed :)

except that i can't quite enjoy it until i clear away all the stuff that's been piling on it the past 6 weeks :p ahhh... it's nice to get away sometimes, but also good to be back home after an absence.

but it also serves to remind me that i'm really not home yet.

divergence acceptance

even if two lines are as close as being parallel, they're never going to meet. much less divergent lines, which may start out close, but the distance between them grows with time.

thus i'm prompted to ponder, in a tangential but not altogether unrelated kind of way...

我有个问题：
知己，应该去寻找，
或者该等待？

sore forgetful

i started a poem, but can only remember the first few lines... not that it was anywhere near completion, but i'm feeling rather forgetful

a house -
an empty house.
many rooms -
unoccupied, unutilised.

actually i have no idea where i was going to go after these few lines anyway. all i was doing was thinking upon being reminded that my current housesitting stint is fast drawing to a close. and though i had plans and visions of having people over to socialise, cook, eat etc, that never really eventuated. so it feels like a bit of a loss/waste. so yeah, four lines is about as far as i went!

- - - - -

i'm also feeling rather sore. have been playing a bit of sport the past few sundays without too much ill effect, so i'm not sure whether it was the attempt at a little footrace this week (which i lost! but i was up against younger opponents, so this is one rare occasion where it's advantageous for me to claim age concessions :p) or the extra running around i did on saturday, which is contributing to my aches. didn't get to play ultimate this week, but i still think it's the best social game to play :)

- - - - -

and i'm very tired/sleepy. doing training in the city the rest of the week - will get a free taxi ride between my normal place of work and the training venue, but it does mean having to get up much earlier, and a brief return to ironed shirts.

now let's see if i can manage to have an early night...

constructivity

i remember learning in high school geography (i think... or was it science??) about constructive and destructive waves. i think the constructivity principle has been at work in my life - timing wise, i'm still dealing with the ebb of one wave and being reminded of the memory of another from about this time a year ago.

makes for a big wave.

- - - - -

speaking of anniversary-like matters, looks like i'll be doing another singapore in september trip... both my sisters are having wedding-related events within one week of each other over there (one being the actual wedding and reception, and the other being the overseas reception following an earlier local wedding). don't know about my chances of getting leave in peak period, but i guess you never know if you never ask!

and speaking of weddings (as in, my attendance at...), #2 for 2005 is happening in 9 days' time.

surreptitious sightings

so prince J and i were sitting at a local mc cafe last week, and out of left field comes 3 people wearing japanese-looking attire and each carrying a platter of sushi. they stroll straight through the outside seating area of maccas, and then alternate between standing around and shuffling on in the carpark just outside. a few minutes later one of the mc workers comes out (presumably assigned the task of) looking for them, but they had vacated the premises. a few more minutes and they were back, this time venturing to the outer periphery of the carpark and hanging about at the entrance. at first we couldn't figure out what they were doing, but it looked all the world like they were _giving away_ free sushi. here's a deal going down... would have been a better pic if i got the golden arches into frame (there was one just off to the right), but i only felt bold enough to sneak one shot in, and from a distance (hence the blurriness) :p

and no i wasn't bold enough to go claim some ;) although... it makes me hungry just thinking about it... i think i can accommodate a bit of sushi any time of day :)

topics more worthy of consideration

luke 9:23...

to deny myself
and daily take up my cross
following Jesus

a change from the typical drivel of late, perhaps :)

revised count

an update to the list:

• 1x engagement from... 2 days ago?
• 1x wedding about 3 weeks ago
• 1x wedding in june
• 1x wedding i don't know when... this year/soon!
  
• 1x wedding supposedly happening later this year
• 1x engagement/wedding possibly happening later this year
• 2x newish relationships starting in the last few months
  
• and even a recent breakup is (i think?!) on the mend
  

anyone else want to put their hand up? ahhh... what can you do but smile a wistful smile. better than being consumed by it all, perhaps!

spending my time...

seems a bit of a waste... spending my time... creating original poetry... when others have come before and put similar thoughts to song :p (yes i have now managed to get around to watching (though it was 99.5% just listening to) my roxette complete collection dvd)

ahh... the memories of 80's and 90's ballads... heh.

speaking of old songs, there's one that talks about washing a person out of one's hair. just wondering (in a "the thought has just suddenly popped into my head" kind of way) whether a haircut would suffice? it's relevant because i had one this morning. but it's also a moot question i suppose, since i'll need to wash it soon enough anyways!

ok enough procrastinating, should get back to the housework. way to spend a sunny saturday afternoon... but i really need to be waking up from this dream now.