what's the point?

last sunday i happened to be listening to the same sermon for the second time. the particulars of why i found myself in such a situation is a peripheral matter. suffice it to say i was not particularly enthused at the prospect of repeating what hadn't been an overly memorable experience already chalked up from the week before.

the reason for my lack of enthusiasm can be found in these other thoughts, similar to mine, which have been voiced following and stemming from the first hearing. it's a chronic issue, and a factor in my uncertainty about whether i should be contemplating a move or some other non-stagnant act to address the problem. previous solutions i have seen from others included leaving/moving, and attending a second church/service for the teaching (while staying at the original church/service for the fellowship).

anyways... part-way through the sermon, i noticed that the guy sitting next to me had pulled out his mobile phone and was playing games on it, while his friend next to him looked on. now from what i know and have seen/observed of this guy, he doesn't strike me as someone who has much interest in listening to sermons to begin with, and possibly comes to church to see his friends, or because of parental pressure/expectation (ok maybe i'm conjecturing and stereotyping too much...). so anyways, i was trying to decide whether i should do anything, like issuing a tap or nudge and motioning that he should put the phone away and pay attention to the sermon. but then the thought struck me: why? what would i be asking him to listen to? should he listen just because it's the polite/culturally normative thing to do? is there any merit in asking someone to listen to something in which i myself struggle to find value? i'm probably venturing into dangerous territory in sounding like i'm decrying the value of a sermon, but the question still begs asking (and the answer(s) well worth pursuing and grasping): what's the point?

bushfire in my neighbourhood!

i was sitting in my room last night, up late again... and my brother calls me to "come see this!" i look out his window and see flames from behind the silhouette of the house(s) across the street. thinking it might be a house on fire, i rang 000 and got told that it's a bushfire that had already been reported. maybe i should have checked it out further before calling on reflex... anyways, a few seconds after putting down the phone i could hear sirens in the distance. being a bit KP, i trotted out with my camera to see if i could capture some of the scene. being a bit shy and lazy, i couldn't be bothered walking around the block to get up close and personal to the action. so, peering through a gap between two houses, i snapped the fire brigade dousing the flames, and that was about enough to satisfy this cat's curiosity and excitement quota for the night :p

anyways i don't think anything much got damaged, but there was a very smoky flavour to the air today, and my eyes didn't seem to like it much either. probably made worse by the lack of sleep. oh i feel so incorrigible!

the perfect number

orangeclouds has tagged me with this lot of 7 by 7 things to answer...

Seven dreams before death:

1. find a good thing
2. raise godly offpring
3. "save one more for Jesus" - though there's only one thing that saves, and it has nothing to do with me... nevertheless "save", and mature, and pass on the baton etc :)
   
4. be able to make music (play something random/original on a musical instrument that actually sounds half decent!)
5. harmonise on the fly
   
6. experience autumnal and wintry canadian landscapes (think maple leaves and snow galore)
   
7. fight the good fight, finish the race, keep the faith
   

Seven things I can't do in this lifetime:

1. go out in the sun without my sunglasses... which sadly got broken this afternoon :(
   
2. make my arms look straight when fully extended
   
3. have natural 20/20 vision
4. be perfect
5. see my Saviour face to face
6. attain job satisfaction
   
7. consistently get sufficient sleep...

Seven things that attract me:

1. technology/gadgetry
2. good looking/tasting/smelling food
3. interesting conversations
4. theological discussions (deeper than typical everyday talk, but not so deep that i get lost :p)
5. music
   
6. a warm smile
7. an inviting bed and pillow
   

Seven things I say:
(there really isn't much that's distinctive here... at least not things i'm consciously aware of...)

1. what the ... ?!
   
2. balik (kampung)
3. wa mm zai / ngor mm jee - means "i don't know" in hokkien/cantonese
4. so desu (ne) ... - means "(oh) i see" in japanese
5. err/erm/umm/hmm...
   
6. (something involving the word) nebulous
   
7. (nothing) - i can be a very quiet person...
   

Seven books that I love:
(not so much love - except perhaps the first one - but books which have made/still make an impression on me, and whose titles i can currently think of...)

1. the Bible, by God and his team of inspired writers
   
2. The Teenage Textbook, by Adrian Tan
   
3. The Teenage Workbook, by Adrian Tan
   
4. I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris
5. Boy Meets Girl, by Joshua Harris
6. The Joy Luck Club, by Amy Tan
   
7. Wild Swans: 3 Daughters of China, by Jung Chang
   

Seven movies I've loved:
(in no particular order... i'm sure there are others, but my memory fails me)

1. Young Guns 1&2
   
2. Fong Sai Yuk 1&2
   
3. Turn Left, Turn Right
4. Dead Poets Society
5. Love Letter
6. My Sassy Girl
7. Lonesome Dove (ok so this one is really a mini-series, but it's good!)
   

Seven tags:
(ok this is gonna be hard cos i don't think i know that many people who read my blog, AND keep blogs of their own... so i'm sorry if you happen to see your name and wonder why, cos i'm struggling to get 7 names together!)

1. benji
2. island
3. j.s. (??)
   
4. pearlywhirls (??)
   
5. shte2
6. sweet yung (??)
   
7. (ok see i told you i would struggle... :| and i told you i couldn't be perfect :p)
   

channel surfing

the activity of channel surfing is often associated with the complaint that "there's nothing (good) on". not that i lay any claims as to the quality/value of my posts, but i guess this blog is due for a bit of an update.

well my voice did recover in time for me to be able to sing at the church's chinese new year reunion dinner last weekend. i don't know that i would say i enjoyed the evening - i guess it just felt kinda neutral. it was probably more meaningful for the older folk who were able to catch up with old faces and past acquaintances etc. i was glad in a way to have been asked somewhat last minute to help video parts of the evening - it gave me something to do in between visits to my table, engaging in relatively minimal conversation, and trying to eat some food before it all got gobbled up by the other 7 guys (and 2 girls) there :p

anyways, here's a couple of video clips of some of the performances on the night. the first is a singing family (the wife used to go to my church, but i think that was before i started going there) presenting 'jesus is the answer'.


i'm no vocal talent scout, but i thought the two tween girls had good voices. the older girl also did a solo with 'i still call australia home' accompanied by her father on guitar.

the second video if of 'Generation D' - some uni students doing a choreographed dance thing... don't know enough about dancing styles to use an appropriately descriptive label... hmm... well anyways the youngsters in the audience enjoyed it :)

when your opponent gets personal...

... you know it's because they've run out of legitimate ammunition.

this is an update on (one of) the pirated DVD(s) i bought off ebay a few months back (see section 3 or so of previous post). upon noticing the discrepancies with the disc i received, i made contact with the seller in an attempt to resolve the problem. the list of discrepancies grew during this time, and my final findings, after comparing my received product to information about, and images of the genuine article obtained from meiah (the actual distributors?) and amazon.com, and doing followup research, is as follows (text mostly copy-and-pasted from an email i sent the seller, links to photos added for this post):

1. The design of the front cover, while very similar to the genuine copy, is different in a number of places:
   1. The "Mei Ah" logo, which should be in the bottom left corner, is missing
   2. The font face, colour and size of the main crew are different, and contain spelling errors
      1. Cheung Yuen Ting is credited as the DTRBCTOR
      2. Alex Law is credited as the WRITTER CO-PRODOCER
   3. The "DVD video" logo in the bottom right corner does not appear on the genuine copy
   4. The Chinese writing on the bottom (below the picture of the three young girls, and half chopped off by your trimming) also does not appear in the original
2. On the back cover, the bottom quarter and the pictures look to be the same as the genuine copy, but the rest of the text is all wrong
   1. The font used to list the awards is different - this goes for both the the Chinese and English text; the Chinese text uses an inconsistent mix of traditional and simplified characters
   2. The English synopsis contains various punctuation errors and is missing two phrases from the full original text
   3. The Chinese synopsis is written in simplified Chinese, which is inconsistent with the rest of the Chinese text used on the front and back covers, which should be traditional Chinese for a product coming from Hong Kong
   4. There is supposed to be a cast and crew listing after the Chinese synopsis, but this whole section is missing
3. There are also a number of problems with the text/artwork on the DVD itself, apart from the spelling which I have already pointed out previously (ie that the text along the bottom of the disc reads "all rights in this DVD video are reserved and it is staictly prohibited to usr this DVD video other than for rivate viewing in the Double-Dsymbol are frademarks of Dolby Labaratories Licensing Corporation"
   1. At the very top of the disc, next to Maggie Cheung's head (middle woman), and a bit cut off, is Maggie's Chinese name in simplified Chinese - out of place and again inconsistent with the other traditional Chinese text used in the package
   2. Of the four little boxes near the bottom of the disc, the second box displays a logo which reads "compact disc digital video". This logo "may only be used on discs complying with the Video-CD specifications: the Philips-JVC-Matsushita-Sony Compact Disc Digital Video Specification (the WHITE Book)", therefore this logo should NOT appear on a DVD
   3. The next logo accompanying the "5.1 SURROUND" text is wrong - there is a similar logo on the box cover, which at least features 6 distinct black squares representing the 5+1 speakers. The logo on the disc itself only has 4 squares/speakers
   4. The region code logo on the disc says the disc is region 1, which is inconsistent with what the box says (should be all region)
   5. Lastly the 3 Chinese characters printed below these logo boxes... at first I thought it was supposed to say 非毒品, which means something like "not drugs/poisonous". Besides the obvious question of why such a phrase should be relevant to a DVD, I also realised that the middle character is "spelt" wrong - it looks like something that should sound the same as the proper character to fit the phrase, but isn't actually a valid character in Chinese.

so anyways, i originally asked for a full refund given that the listing of pirated items is against ebay policy. seller refused, maintaining that the item is an original (without addressing my list of evidence to the contrary), and offered a refund on the sale price (ie not including postage) once i return the item. that wasn't going to fly as a solution cos the return postage alone exceeds the sale price, and besides, i want justice on the piracy issue, not just getting my money back! and so i turned to the paypal resolution process for assistance. they eventually decided in my favour, awarding me a full refund of the original sale price plus shipping costs - but again i was required to send the item back at my own expense. so now i get to recoup a few of my dollars (not much, after having to supply proof of postage), and i'm still waiting for the actual refund to hit my account. meanwhile nobody at ebay/paypal seems bothered by the piracy thing that i'm actually complaining about - i guess maybe it's not really their fight and even so how much does my one droplet of a pirated dvd rate in the global tidal wave of the piracy business, right? anyways, i haven't mentioned the icing on the cake yet: the seller leaving me negative feedback (my first ever!) that says "TROUBLEMAKER! Original sent fast & still wants refund w/o returning! BAD BUYER!"

me? i'd really rather stick to facts. you know, things like the proof of postage that shows i have returned the item, which paypal required from me, before they processed the claim and decided the case in my favour... (by which time the item would have well and truly arrived back at the seller's address, where they could well turn around and sell to the next unsuspecting victim - a major reason why i wasn't keen to return it in the first place)

so i'm just a little bit unimpressed. it seems too easy to break the rules and play dirty in this world of ours [going off on a bit of a tangent, this has been a common and recurring theme i'm encountering with people who find out (some too late) that their employers have not been paying their superannuation entitlements - if you aren't sure whether yours is being paid, do something proactive about it sooner rather than later; read the superannuation FAQ from the ato if you need a starting point]. but i really shouldn't be surprised at that... so i guess meanwhile i'll just keep waiting for "new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells" (2 peter 3:13)

When Your Past Comes Knocking

if a deer hang out on the roads long enough, sooner or later it will encounter a vehicle. i don't think i've ever seen a deer caught in the headlights, but perhaps i understand a little what it might be like - the feeling of being suddenly confronted with something and responding with a perhaps fear-induced frozenness. you know that something is coming your way, and that when it "hits", it's not going to be fun and games. your mind races, desperately thinking of escape routes, frantically analysing what-if-i-do-such-and-such scenarios and at the same time reminds you that the clock is ticking. your body... it does nothing. it just sits in absolute inaction, maintaining a fixed pose with a resoluteness that would give those "statue" mime artists a run for their money.

it's silent, except for the mental *tick*tock*tick* which continues...

- - - - -

a while ago, i wrote:

the mistakes of the past
they continue to haunt
like dogged, hungry vultures
circling, waiting for a swoop...

... to take another bite of flesh from this body
better the victim be dead than half-alive?
the shock leaves him numb and unfeeling of pain
though emotions and psyche more than compensate

- - - - -

more recently, i heard:

Jesus, My Only Hope

I come into Your presence
With nothing in my hands
I only bring thanksgiving
For Jesus, God, and Man
I cast myself on mercy
I cast myself on love
I trust Your gracious promise
To wash me with Your blood

I will not fear Your judgment
For me no wrath I dread
For it was spent on Jesus
Poured out upon His head
When Satan's accusations
Make my poor heart afraid
I hear my King declaring
"Father, that debt is paid!"

CHORUS
Jesus my only hope
My only plea
My righteousness
My Great High Priest
Who intercedes for me
Before the throne
Jesus, I trust in You alone

Though I am poor and naked
Your prodigal come home
You place Your robe upon me
Your holiness alone
Though I be dry and barren
By grace this love springs forth
Love for You and Your Kingdom
Joy in Your glory, Lord

- - - - -

this morning, i re-read:

working through the consequences of past choices ... doesn't mean that you have to dredge up every sordid detail, but it does mean that you need to honestly face the effect your past can have on your future .... Unless you are honest about past sin, you won't be able to understand the potential challenges you'll confront because of it. Neither will you be able to root yourselves firmly in the sustaining grace of God.

- - - - -

earlier this afternoon, i watched:

2 young (link to review), a movie i recently borrowed from a friend (am still recovering/recuperating my voice, so today is another sick leave day). probably not the best choice in my current frame of mind, though i didn't bother to read the synopsis at all before popping the disc in. anyways, maybe i'm reading themes into the movie (from what's on my mind), but i had to pause the movie so i could go clean my face after one particularly poignant scene, and i found a couple of other scenes triggering various thoughts and reflections.

- - - - -

then, i was about to try for a nap and maybe stop thinking for a while, but managed to catch a fom online and a brief chat there indirectly helped me to regain a bit of focus.

and before you know it, the day seems almost over... but there's many a mile to travel before the journey ends.

at a loss for words

i've been diagnosed with a case of laryngitis, a major symptom of which is the loss of my voice. not that i'm a naturally talkative person, but for the last nearly 1 year i've had to talk all day for a living, and it's a bit of a change to go from that to not saying anything at all. a common response that i've been getting when people find out is "ahhh... no wonder you've been so quiet". aren't i normally quiet? hmm...

anyways, the fact that i might have something valid to say or contribute, but was physically restricted from doing so, has brought back to mind another issue about having something to say yet not actually saying it.

let me backtrack a little: over the course of a few months last year, i found out that a number of my female friends were progressing in their relationships with their respective partners - i use partner in a loose and generic sense, for the various "progresses" cover the spectrum from starting to date, through getting engaged, to getting married. in all the cases the girls (afaik) were professing christians, and their partners were, at the time and imho, unsuitable husband material (me being of the opinion/belief that starting/continuing a relationship with someone who you w/shouldn't marry is a waste of time for all parties involved). the reasons for unsuitability ranged from being clearly non-christian through to nominal christianity - whichever way you look at it, not exactly your ideal candidates to fulfil the mandate of "[h]usbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Eph 5:25; see also the shtes' summary/thoughts from a wedding sermon on this and surrounding verses). i was closer to some of these girls than others, and the guys involved i mostly didn't know from a bar of soap. and so, the question with which i wrestled was this: should i say anything?

in an article titled evasive manuevers, author matt kaufman writes on the issue of "our reluctance to see and confront sin in our loved one's lives." he notes that:

We're often loath to confront any number of sins in their lives.

The chief reason is that we're afraid to damage our relationships. Imagine your sister is living with her boyfriend ... You're not happy about it; you may even be heartbroken about it. But you don't want tension with her, and you really don't want to take such a strong stand that you strain the relationship to the breaking point.

In a situation like this, you know the stand you should take. But, again, it's hard -- and you're scared of what could happen if you push it too far. So you don't say much. Or you say something, but you water it down. (You don't tell her she's doing something wrong; you ask questions that won't threaten her autonomy, like "Are you sure you want this?") Or you say nothing at all.

We're also reluctant to take a strong stand for another reason: We want to think the best of the people we love.

he goes on to agree with the common sentiment that for most people, the costs of taking a stand are too high. yet he reminds us that "no cost is higher than a soul", and progresses to relate an example from his life where he eventually confronts his friend "Becky", a single mum who had moved in with another man and subsequently married him. in response to a letter from Becky asking why a distance had grown between them, matt responds by explaining... and as a result

Becky never spoke to me again. I've always regretted that. But I've never regretted what I did. I can't be responsible for whether she took the message to heart. I can only be responsible for trying.

I only regret the times I should have tried with other people, but didn't. Sometimes I've had reason to hesitate: In deciding how to proceed, I had to think about things like how well I knew someone, what's the right time and way to talk to them, and whether they profess to be a Christian (which makes a big difference in the kind of conversation we'd have). But in stopping to think about these things, I've sometimes awakened months or years later to realize that, instead of finding the right way to say something, I've said nothing at all. Other times, if truth be told, I've just let my own fears lead me to procrastinate.

But this I know: If you love someone, you must seek the welfare of their soul above any risks to your relationship with them.

And you can't reach that goal by evasive maneuvers. You can only get there by going straight to the heart.

in reading and reflecting on this article, i realised how evasive i usually am. i dread confronting others about their sins/wrongdoings, even when i may feel some sense of righteous indignation. just like matt, i find all sorts of excuses about me not being the right person, the timing not being right, my knowledge of the situation not being sufficiently informed... the list goes on. and for the most part i end up saying nothing. i advocate the matthew 18:15ff style/method of conflict resolution, yet fail miserably most of the time in actually carrying out the first step. and when i do manage to open my mouth, what comes out is often a truncated, watered down, stammering, roundabout and usually lacking in love version of the truth.

not to deflect blame/attention, but it seems that many others suffer from this problem. in speaking to some other people with association with the couples i mentioned earlier, i find the reluctance to risk relationships exists in family members and friends alike - no one appers to be willing to call anyone to repentence, lest the confronting nature of the challenge push the other away and sever/damage the relationship. (granted, there may well have been other people doing things in the background / of which i am not aware - i am only commenting on what i myself have seen/heard. i also fully realise that i do not have any grounds for accusing any of these people for being "soft", for i wear not their shoes... again i am basing my comments on what i have seen/heard for myself.)

it's a situation that i heard a local christian worker once label as the 'cult of relationships'. in a recent sermon from philippians, he also made the following points about our inability/failure to "speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly" (phi 1:14b) - the transcription is mine and probably not be 100% word-for-word accurate:

many are the ways we consider to be an appropriate speaking of the word of God ... everything but speaking fearlessly ...

I'm not an advocate of running rough-shod over other human beings, I'm just saying that it is a joke the idea that the weakness of our modern churches is that we are too bold and fearless in our speaking -- that is exactly the problem we don't have. Our problem is the opposite.

[For example, let's look at the popular idea of] building bridges [one problem with which is the building of bridges] that are never burnt - ie I'm not prepared to lose the relationship in order to honour or exalt the lord Jesus Christ. A classic example is of the Christian girl going out with non-Christian guy... [who reasons that] I don't want to drop him, I don't want to end the relationship because if I speak to him too harshly about Jesus then I'll lose the relationship, he'll be lost and he won't be won into the kingdom. The paradox here is that the way to win him into the kingdom is to risk burning the bridge.

It's the ones who say: look, I am bound for heaven, I live for the lord Jesus Christ, I cannot share my bed with someone with whom I cannot share my eternal destiny. It's when the girl says that, and she cuts off emotional supply, it's then that that bloke hears the loudest evangelistic sermon he is ever likely to hear. It's then that it dawns on him: that the silly Christian sisters who continue pirouetting around, saying: I'm serious about the lord Jesus, but my personal demeanour screams out that I'm not... they're just giving double messages. If you believe that you are bound for two different eternities, show it!

how's that for a counter-argument to the practice of missionary dating (if that excuse even features in such a Christian sister's thinking/rationale)?

anyways, we (Christians) all have responsibilities to live out the gospel in ways that doesn't turn a blind eye to matters of unrighteousness, whether in our own lives or in the lives of those we claim to love and care about. i myself have lots to learn and apply... of the friends i mentioned above, i have made only one serious attempt to go "straight to the heart" with one of them (and that, i think, didn't go down too well) - all the others have been at best very weak attempts to indirectly broach the subject, or too much deliberating resulting in nothing actually being done (though if the couple is already married, it changes what you c/should say).

i say this last bit not as a cop-out excuse for inaction, but i am glad and relieved that God is ultimately in control and doesn't need for me to do anything (though he may very well have desired for me to do something) - for two of the girls, their non-Christian partners are now professing Christians. and anytime anyone crosses from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light, that's cause for rejoicing :)

SDG.

new year greetings

i'm sure that somebody did wish me something along the lines of 身体健康 the other day, but here i am on the third day of chinese new year, home and sick. ah well... it's time off work :p

new year's eve was spent running a few errands, developing a headache in the afternoon that i tried to sleep off, and then dinner with some rellies where i felt somewhat caught in a generational no-man's land. went late to iggy's 21st, where the following clip [4:56 | 16.3MB] was recorded - some of his friends gave a special presentation of hip-hop and break dancing.



got home late, overslept in the morning and was nearly late for church, which has moved back to our previous location and morning service time. went out for lunch with some church folk, played a bit of mahjong, then some bball, and pretty much veged the rest of the night watching cricket. started developing a sore throat at work on monday, and things got worse after getting home. called in sick today, tried to sleep as much as possible but now it's too hot...

anyways, happy chinese new year - hope you're having a better time than me ;)

that "numa numa" song

i recently received this forwarded email with a url pointing to a video clip of what looks to be an ad for 42below. had no idea who 42below is, and didn't really understand why the guys on the video were lip-synching/dancing to this song... anyways the company sells vodka, and the whole reason behind the video became clearer by the end of the clip, and after reading some background info on this whole "numa numa" craze - seems like i've been waaaay out of the loop on this one! talk about parodies and copycats galore... nevermind the back dormitory boys, every man and his dog seems to have their own take on this song/clip :o

anyways, as i listened to the audio in the clip, i couldn't help but be reminded of the same song being played during arpc's new year's eve dinner last month, where a variant of the chicken little dance (performed to this song) was on display - this for me is the definitive numa numa experience ;) maybe it's one of those you-had-to-be-there events, but every time i watch this clip it brings a smile to my face :) the guy dressing up as "chicken little" did the dance numerous times, but this is my favourite clip cos on this iteration they got the four pastors up on stage too to mimic the guy! please excuse me while i go giggle :p

[ arpc dance | 0:46 | 3.2MB ]

the qyc mythbusters

went to QYC on the weekend, not sure if i'll be back cos i'm no longer really fitting the Y part of the name :p it's always good to hear good bible teaching though, and peter lin served us well with 5 talks from the sermon on the mount in matthew's gospel. still chewing through some of the stuff from the talks, but in the meantime i've been playing with videos and have uploaded two clips from the "mythbusters" segments during the camp. don't know if i can get the file sizes much smaller (am just using a free converter i found online) so this is one for the broadband-enabled:

clip 1 | 5:54 | ~19.3MB



clip 2 | 5:04 | ~12.4MB



one note about the food during camp, and i don't really want to complain cos i should be content that i have food to eat, but it was somewhat on the sparse side. i guess i'm used to self-catered camps where there was always enough for seconds. not so here... the first serving portions never looked sufficient, and often seconds weren't available. here's a pic of j.s. posing for the camera to show his dissatisfaction about the amount of meat on his plate :p he did manage to get some seconds, by which time i had already eaten 4 pieces of bread to go with my first serve so i was feeling sufficiently sated. we talked a bit about photography during the weekend, as he's starting to get into it (more so than my pleb point-and-shoot methods), and he's posted up some nice pics taken during the weekend... check them out here.

D.I.Y. haircut

it came time tonight for me to try cutting my own hair - when i said "low maintenance" in the previous haircut-related post, i meant more in the sense of "wake up and go", no need to bother with combing/gelling type of low maintenance. i knew that keeping it at this length in a semi-tidy state requires more frequent trimming than with longer hair, which is why i ruled out a total shave from the get go - maintaining a bald head is even more work than maintaining short short hair. i'd budgeted for ~fortnightly trims, which is about twice as often as my usual haircut rate, and that timeframe was about due...

can't be *too* difficult, right? i thought to myself. 45 minutes later i had worked up a bit of a sweat - it's hot work in that bathroom of mine and i can definitely see the sense in paying to have your hair cut in an air-conditioned salon! i hope i get more efficient at this with a bit more practice at tricky manoeuvres like weilding the clippers with my left hand, behind my head, trying to steer it in a straight line/achieve an even cut... and the tapering of my short(er) back and sides was a struggle and a half i tell you, but i think i managed something not too shabby by the end.

in related news, i seem to have rather suddenly developed a habit of feeling my hair - patting, stroking etc. i wonder if it's just that the novelty hasn't worn off yet :p next time i might try a blade 2 across the top, or even make it blade 1 across the board to see how that feels :)

the weak evangelist

in an article titled "honest to God evangelism" from the latest issue of the briefing (#328, january 2006), author richard coekin sets up four boundaries/guidelines within which the task of evangelism should operate. #4 is accepting our own weakness - taking the example of the apostle paul, who underwent all manner of opposition and hardships in the course of his ministry, richard writes:

this contrast between the precious quality of the message and the poor weakness of the messengers is God's deliberate evangelistic strategy .... Their human and personal weaknesses only served to demonstrate God's power, in two ways.

Firstly, the results. Paul's personal weakness emphasised that the results of his ministry ... came not from his own powers of persuasion but from the power of the gospel. Nothing could explain the effect of Paul's ministry but the power of the message he taught. Secondly, the motivation. Costly and painful opposition to his ministry meant that he couldn't be motivated by anything but the truth. Since he derived no personal benefit from his evangelism, the only explanation for his determined perseverance was that his message was true.

This is important for us to understand. Many of us will be very aware of our personal inadequacy and weakness in evangelism. Of course, it remains helpful to be gifted and to work hard at explaining the truth plainly .... But our weakness is, by God's grace, a strength. Of course, poor planning, careless words and unwelcoming attitudes will always be damaging to our evangelism. But God chooses to work powerfully through the gospel message delivered by his ordinary messengers.

[....]

This is convincing power - to keep evangelising when it plainly costs us so much. God does this so that it is obvious to those he is saving that the only reason people believe this message must be because it is true (for there is no other selling point), and the only reason we do our evangelism is because it is true (for there is no benefit to us but only costly discomfort). So we must stop wishing that we had somebody famous, something advantageous, somewhere impressive before attempting to offer the gospel to our family, friends and colleagues. After all, the gospel does offer people Jesus, forgiveness and the kingdom of God!

(emphases are the author's / as printed)

oddities

supersized grape i found while at bongoboy's surprise party.

it's been another weekend involving lots of hanging out with various people, some of whom i haven't seen or talked to for far too long, and all of sudden i'm crossing paths with perhaps multiple times in the last fortnight! it's been nice, but i doubt it will last. still feels like a bit of a holiday mood - that's certainly a literal truth for those who are students, but even as a worker i'm not feeling as bogged down with the old monday to friday routine. maybe that's thanks to my secondment being a lot less busy than my normal work area, and perhaps too the recent pattern of my weekends involving sleeping in, being out for most of the rest of the day and night, and eating later meals than i would typically eat - quite reminiscent of how i spent my recent overseas holiday.

unfortunately the sunday sleeping in thing ends today - will be away at qyc next weekend, and the sunday after that our church service returns to our usual bat-time and bat-channel, ie sunday mornings 9:30am. ah well... i still have my saturdays :)

anyways, something struck me as being a bit odd. church is having a dinner thing in feb, to celebrate chinese new year and to have a reunion thing involving current and past members + friends. i've been semi-keen on going along, but wanted to try to organise a table to sit with my friends so that i wouldn't have to be a nige/sit with people i don't really know. sadly, the response has been rather poor. the odd thing is that this is my own church, where i'm sure to know many of the people who will be there (at least by face/name, if not necessarily all in person), but i'm still not all that willing to attend unless i know i'll be sitting with friends/people i know. yet on my last trip, i was quite happy to

1. go to a wedding dinner where the only person i knew was the bride, and her i didn't actually meet in person till the day before the dinner. (and so i ended up sitting on a table where almost everyone else already knew each other from their uni days, and thus were having a mini-reunion of sorts)
2. attend another dinner in a neighbouring country with some 1400 other people, where i knew (of) a few more people but was nevertheless seated at a table where the only person i knew i met earlier that day, and where we were the only two single people amongst married couples either with a baby, or expecting one. [above pic shows the panoramic view from the stage... 138 tables (including those on the upper level) of 10 people each - that's huuuge!]
   

so why, when it comes to a dinner in my home country, in my home church, with that many more people i would know/recognise... why do i seem so much more reluctant to go? i'm not sure if the attempted comparisons are valid, but it does seem kinda odd. and i'm not sure what that says/signifies.

anyhow, it's kinda a moot point. mum has been after a decision from me for the last week, and as of this afternoon i'm locked in to going because she said that another person who's going asked for me to go as well, and because it solves the problem of filling a vacant spot on some singing quartet item thing. so now not only am i going, i'm also supposed to perform... and i think i'll have a friend but i don't know if it's my sparkling personality and dinner conversation that they're after, or simply because they couldn't find anyone else to sing :p

i hope the food will be good! cue image of homer simpson-esque figure munching on a mouth full of food and mumbling "can't worry about being a nige - eating!" ;)

speaking of kintaro's feet...

following on from my previous post, here's another Q&A:

Q: how does a guy let a girl know that he is interested?
A: walk the length of her country!

that's what tyler macniven aka kintaro did, even making a movie titled 'kintaro walks japan'. ok granted the girl already knew he liked her, but still... it's a pretty cool thing to do and an interesting movie to watch :) you can either pay to buy a dvd, or watch it for free on google video.

on a less facetious note, and somewhat in response to the comment left by 'anonymous' on my previous post, when it comes to letting the girl know of your interest, there's a time for keeping quiet and a time for being direct. the tricky bit can sometimes be in knowing what/which time it is. eg. it may not generally be the most appropriate thing to say to a girl you first meet/hardly know that your intentions are to take her as your wife -- such a scenario would usually be the time to keep quiet (for the time being). conversely, with the fellow she mentioned who dragged three years without resolving the big question mark, the time for being direct sounds like it had long passed.

sometimes though, wisdom dictates that a dose of patience (and waiting on the Lord) is needed. it can be quite frustrating to not be able to freely say what you'd like to say. thus it may not be shyness or fear of rejection that holds someone back from opening their mouth in such a matter, rather the relative silence on the topic may be the result of the testing of one's obedience and trust. well, i'd hope so anyway!

boundless answers

boundless has started up its Q&A column, alternating between answering his & hers questions. the inaugural post sets out to help guys deal with the question of: how can a guy know if a woman is "interested"? i'm not sure if the reply really answers the question, for it seems to basically say

1. pray about it -- the only real/direct mention of God in the reply
2. tell her you are (interested in her)
   
3. ask if she is (interested in you)

which to my mind is somewhat stating the obvious -- wanna know the answer? just ask! :p

now if only obvious also meant easy and uncomplicated and free of the 1000 and 1 potentially confusing factors that typically arise when a guy poses such a question ;)

letting my hair down

in a manner of speaking... after all, hair does tend to fall to the ground after encountering the fast moving blades of a set of wahl clippers! ;) the before and after shots:

the theory is that this should be ultra low maintenance. let's see if it holds up in practice!

a couple of moves

today was a bit of a day of catching up with people. T&F are moving interstate in a few days' time, and they had a farewell afternoon tea at dome in town, a place that had a nice look, feel and ambience about it. i like their pocket menus too... nice touch, but funny how prices aren't printed on there. cafe prices are often too inflated in my opinion anyway :p

although i'm not one who tends to do the rounds and say hi to everyone at social events (usually just talk to those who are nearby) , it was good to see some old/familiar faces there... maybe because i feel like i've been away for a while too (which i have been, but only for two weekends!)

afterwards i went to visit the nenes at their new and not-quite-yet-moved-into house on my side of town. somehow when i see this pic it doesn't quite look real - more like one of those artist's impression drawings... anyways, it was good to see them too and to be able to lend a hand moving some stuff around. kinda made me wonder whether i'd ever want to set up a home for myself one day. oh well... that's probably a while away if ever. i came back home to find the new flooring dad had purchased to replace the carpet in the rumpus, and i'm already thinking what a hassle it's going to be to shift stuff around (esp. the entertainment unit and the piano!) to enable the replacement to happen... can we do just half a room?? hee...

later at night i saw noodlez and we watched the aardvark'd documentary i mentioned earlier (and subsequently decided to buy) - he's probably the only person i know who would (and was interested to) watch such a show :p

anyways, in keeping with the general topic matter of said earlier post, and a different meaning of the title of this one, check out these moves featured on the google video blog:

• a guy, travelling around the world, who dances at each place he visits
• a face off between an old lady and a guy driving a merc convertible - guess who wins!
  

that last one is too funny!

my mind of its own

pre-script: the photo below has no relevance to the text, other than a tenuous link via the word 'thoughts/thots' being the sole excuse for displaying a pic i took on my recent trip :p

how quickly the joys of a relatively relaxing holiday fade into the background, as a return to old habits of sleep deprivation snap back into place and the constant tiredness reclaims its stake.

*sigh*

to make things worse, i've been on training most of this week, as i'm on deployment to another business line for the next 3 months. when things are busy (as it has been for the past 6 months) i don't get a chance to switch my mind off during work and to feel the tiredness except for the involuntary yawns. sitting in training is a different matter... in the constant battle to stay awake and alert, i'm sure that half the information has either never made it into my ears, or has only passed through as a fleeting fog. i feel like i've retained so little, and can only look forward to struggling with incompetence and lack of understanding once i start answering queries.

tried to make up for it by taking an afternoon nap yesterday, which actually turned into a 3 hour sleep! not sure if it was that which made it difficult to sleep later that night (or should i say earlier this morning... :$) i tossed and turned, my mind being rather uncooperative in resting from the thoughts it was engrossed with pursuing.

then i overslept this morning, and rushed to get to work on time. felt reasonably ok in the morning, but by the afternoon session my mind had wandered a world away from what i was supposed to be learning. perhaps it was the recent reacquainting with a few tadashi maekawa poems i had read a few years back (a trip down memory lane courtesy of checking my sitemeter referral logs, which showed that someone had found my post by searching for the book in which i saw these translated poems), coupled with an old poem of mine i recently revisited, and the sleepless thoughts of the night before, which produced the rather unexpected situation of my drifting mind suddenly coming up with the rough draft of a new poem! thought i'd better get some of the words down on paper before it all drifts away, and work on refining it when my mind is more awake.

or perhaps it will come together more when i head for bed tonight :p

until the next flight...

i'm back... to work, my normal routine... forgive my lack of enthusiasm :p even before i came home from my latest trip i was already entertaining thoughts of my next getaway. is my normal life so worthy of escaping from?? haha. who knows whether such a flight will be sweet reverie or perhaps something to regret. hmmm...

perhaps i'm just too couped up, and bursting to do something crazy, or at least something out of the ordinary. i went out earlier for some dessert at barboo and decided to order the 'pork floss and mayonnaise crepe', which i had previously seen on the menu and thought ewww! about (and yet strangely drawn to! heh) and so, inspired by the flosss breadtalk product i tried in singapore a few days back, i wrapped my laughing gear around this here crepe shown below - can you see the floss in the second pic? :)

other atypical foodstuffs i tried during my recent overseas holiday:

lavender juice, ordered at a HK-style eatery in PJ. don't quite know how to describe the taste, except that it's rather distinctive. and this was a whole jar of the stuff... it was fairly sweet though, and actually not too bad to drink... :)

then there was a mug full of chiku juice i drank at a hawker stall in singapore. didn't take a picture of this... but i have two words: brown, and thick. the people i was with (local singaporeans all) were like 'what is this??' i guess not many people have tried chiku juice before, hehe. i had no idea what it would taste like cos although the name of the fruit sounded familiar, i couldn't really remember how it tasted. oh well... you only live once! ;)

finally this is a thai coconut. not nearly as exotic as the other entrants on this list, but i have a photo of it, and on that poor excuse for inclusion i'll leave more travel tales for another post.

christmas videos

one of these days i'll figure out/spend time on recoding and uploading some of own videos, now that i can take TV quality clips with my new camera :) meanwhile here are some vids sighted this morning (enjoying my day off work to finish packing and relax before another half day of work and then fly off for my holidays!):

1. from ben and faith's place, a link to "who is carol?", a flash animation of carolling singaporean style
2. from the official google video blog, a link to diana krall singing (and scatting!) jingle bells